Feelin Foolish....time to get my head out of my ASS!

OK so I know I haven't been the greatest poster child of commitment this year. I'm about to turn 26 and I'm pretty sure I have no idea where my life is going, and well, I'm not feeling overly excited about school. I feel like I'm missing motivation to be there. There are people that would kill to go to school, and yet I'm just exsisting there. I'm floating.

That being said, I have never been one to take anything sitting down, or slack off, until this year. And tonight I hit an absolute low point. I knew an assignment was due tonight. I had it done and ready to roll. Come time to hand it in an apparently I had ignored the parts actually due. I missed a big chunk of the assignment being due and I have NEVER had this happen before.

I have never not handed something in on time. I have never missed an exam, or had to write it at a later date. I have never called in sick to an exam. I DON'T DO THIS. I'm not late! I'm not someone who does these kinds of things and yet tonight I somehow handed in half an assignment because I wasn't paying enough attention to class and the syllabus to actually realize everything was due.

I felt so stupid! So irresponsible! How could this have happened? This isn't me?

Have I been too distracted and lazy lately? To really be paying attention to things like this? And if that is the case how pathetic is this? And shameful? I'm spending all this time in school hoping to get some sort of clue as to what to do with my life, and I'm pissing it away by not being dedicated?

So I'm very mad at myself. This assignment was worth 15% of my grade and in class the prof said it was either you get 15% or nothing, and seeing as I only did half I have no idea how this marking is going to go. I have emailed (had to rush after class) and asked about handing it in tomorrow and just taking a deduction in marks to hopefully be able to get my mark up...but this could potentially end up being a big hit in my mark.

While I'm really mostly pissed at myself for letting this semester get away from me...this might be the very mark-expensive kick in the ass I needed to get my shit together.

So happy hump day all! I'm officially over my semester "hump" and its time to get my shit together.

Hot Yoga a Go-Go

So, I recently decided that I wanted to maybe try another free skate test for figure skating, and I've been trying to attend regular skating sessions to see where I'm at and what I need to do to get back into shape. And well it hasn't been going great. My back injury is flaring up a little bit, I get bored easily of free skate and switch back to ice dance without really thinking about it, and while its still in my mind, I think the best thing I can do right now is just try to get back into shape.

I used to be active all the time. Skating lots, and going running and doing things like spin classes, but after my back going to hell, and my trip to England, and then death in the family, everything just got in the way. I know there is part of me that just keeps saying "That was all just an excuse you could have done other things to stay fit" but really? My heart wasn't in it and I needed the mental break of doing nothing if anything.

So lately, with skating in mind, I'm desperately trying to do anything and everything that can get me back into shape or at the very least keep me entertained. I'm trying to get back to the rock climbing gym (sans Asscountant it's actually a lot of fun) and I eventually want to get the guts together to go back to spin class. Today I tried Hot Yoga for the first time. Now I had done one yoga class previously through a rec centre and it was a bit of a wash. I didn't take it seriously and the class was for people who want "easy no fuss yoga".

I was having coffee with a friend a few weeks ago and he recommended I try hot yoga. I laughed at him and said forget it and we parted ways. He knows me, he got it. So flash forward to last week and my new "gotta get my ass in gear" kick, and I txt my friend and say, "I cave lets go"

So we made plans to go this morning, he recommended I come properly hydrated.

Well, I am back to report on my experiences. The hot yoga room was not as hot as expected, but don't get me wrong it was hot. Yoga, when not watered down for chicks who want to year Lulu Lemon pants to say they do yoga, is bloody hard! I for years have been told I'm a figure skater and we're just better at certain things, or we have highly movable joints etc, or all that other crap, BUT it didn't do much to prepare this particular out of shape figure skater for the fact that I was heaving and puffing through the class because apparently I have never learned to breath properly.

So yes, the class was hard, and I'm pretty sure I sweated every beverage I have ever consumed in my life out through my pores, and the drive home in soggy knickers was not something I ever care to repeat (ie take spare knickers to class to change into), it was definitely a challenge. And that was definitely what I needed. The visual may be a little harder to get over (lots of fat men trying to get in shape and you can smell them from the back of the room), but I've been feeling super laid back and energized all day. Getting stuff done around the house, gave me some motivation to do some school work, I don't even have the mindstate to argue with The Boy, after I picked a fight with him last night because it turns out everyone has been right about him being an ass (long story not getting into it...to yoga'ed out).

Now while my back injury is still flared from this mornings yoga session, I'm hoping more exercise and such will help calm it down, so it might be a couple weeks before I go back to yoga, but I think I'll be back again. And this time hopefully better hydrated.

Gold Star Moment

Have you ever had a moment, that although you are a supposed grown up, you feel like "damn, I really deserve a gold star for that". I had a moment last night.

Last night I went to my niece (who I've nicknamed Squirt) 's preschool silent auction dinner and dance, because T needed a date and I wasn't up to much so off we went. I drove, and T drank. A lot. And to make things short, she started to drunk text. And when I had the opportunity to lay into the Asscountant for being a total dipshit, I didn't. I kindly told him T was drunk and that if he wanted to contact her tomorrow would be best. I could have said anything to him scot free. I could have called him an ass, or said that he should be ashamed of himself for being so horrible to my niece (his niece technically too not that you'd ever know it because he's never around and never makes time) but I didn't. I had a moment where I thought "What's the point? What will it accomplish?"

I felt very grown up. And I felt like I definitely deserved a freaking gold star.

The Jack-Off Factor

So one of the things I haven't really fessed up to lately is that I've sort of been seeing someone. Now the relationship is starting off rocky and I've known him awhile so I sort of know its going to crash and burn before it really even starts, but part of me thinks that it's all good and it will all work out if I just stick with it. Regardless. Its new and its very very vague and well the guys a bit of an idiot, but he openly acknowledges that he is bad in relationships so I guess I can't be too hard on him. I'm not really going to get into it right now. But you need the background so that the rest of this post makes sense.

What I'm about to disclose was not my idea, but was T's idea that I should post because she found it rather amusing. So of course here goes.

Last weekend I spent the entire weekend at this guys house because we don't live in the same city (ya yet another issue we are already having problems with...). Sunday morning, after having been up pretty late Saturday night I had no desire to get out of bed before noon, but the guy I was staying with wanted to get up and get some groceries before the hockey game started. I was sitting in bed thinking "I could really go for a coffee and bagel" but thinking that it wasn't going to happen unless I either went to Tim's myself or brewed my own coffee, I rolled over and went back to bed. Boy had already left, and left his phone on the bedside table so I didn't have high expectations.

I hear the lock click, and the Boy returns and I think, "screw it I'm still not getting out of bed", when The Boy announces, "I'm a JACK-OFF". I'm still in bed. I'm not really too sure what he's talking about so I roll over and crawl out of bed and start to trek down the hall.

"I'm a jack-off!" he continues. I'm not really awake so I don't say much, but I'm sure my facial expressions said it all.

"We've slept together and I don't have any idea how you take your coffee!"

I'm sure my jaw dropped, and I had to stiffle a giggle, but I still haven't said much. He seems pretty irritated by this whole thing, and I'm finding it extremely entertaining.

He regales me of his tale to get coffee:

"So I went and got to groceries I needed and then I figured I would come back with coffee. I go into Starbucks and I wait in line, I get up to the till and it dawned on me I have no idea how you take your coffee!! Then I figured I knew you liked bagels so I might as well to go Timmy's. I get to Timmys and realize that not only do I not know what you take in your coffee, I also have no idea what kind of bagel you like or if you like it buttered or with cream cheese!"

By now he's ranting but he continues.

"So I'm a total asshole, because now I'm in a second line up with no idea what to get you and the saddest thing is that we went to tims just yesterday and you had a bagel and I apparently am such an asshole I didn't even pay attention to what you ate then!"

Now the rest of the conversation basically went along with him saying that he had to get a variety of bagels with a variety of toppings (which was good because I don't like the smell of cream cheese esp not on my bagel) and ice caps because he didn't want to get me a coffee I wouldn't drink (so kudos there) and it got to the point where there really wasn't much I could say or do because he was a bit irritated and he wanted to watch the game etc but still. VERY entertaining.

So ya I have known this guy a long time so I would hope that he would know how I take my coffee (he certainly does now anyways) but I appreciate that he totally admits when he's clueless. He tells it like he is, so I guess there is that.

Every guy has a jack-off factor. The Boy's just happens to be that he doesn't know my coffee preference. It's a start I suppose!

We all come crawling back

Ya I'm a terrible blogger. I only blog when it's convenient. I'm the equivalent of a three year old that only wants to play with his hampster when the cage is clean and the stars and moon are aligned in just such a way. Only I want to blog only when it suits me and not when I really should to get stuff off my chest and when I need to be cathartic....or make fun of people to random strangers instead of to the peoples faces.

So ya. It's been awhile since I've been here to stretch out my fingers and type something. Well actually it's not true. I've started a whack of posts but I never feel like anything is post worthy. I want to make statements and say things but I get halfway through a post and think "ugh why would I post this?" or "I have totally lost the point along the way" etc.

So ya, I know lots has happened since my last post, and well to be honest, I'm not interested in rehashing a lot of it. So I shall carry on from this point on. Not much has really changed, I'm still in school even though I'm not 100% sure why, and I'm still sucking the big one at finding a job! SO Good recap right?

Love. It really is all around.

In case you didn't already know, because of the millions of commericals, the facebook postings or multiple twitter tweet, or you know by looking at a calendar, its Valentine's Day. Or as one friend of mine put it "Singles Awareness Day".

Now, I'm single, so I know I'm supposed to be sad and lonely and depressed that no one is around to buy me roses, and that no one is showering me with love and affection, but here's the scoop. I'm not.

I have been planning for his Valentine's day for awhile now to be quite honest. I decided very early that even though I am super single, with no real prospects, that I wasn't going to let me get me down this February 14th. I decided that this would be the year I went all out because, just because I don't have a man and its been the year from absolute hell, that I wasn't going to go down with out a fight.

So, I got into it. Painted my finger nails pink with hearts, and my toes sparkly pink. I made sugar cookies and iced them with pink frosting and heart sprinkles (see above..they turned out super tasty might I add). I made goodie bag Valentine's Day treats with cards for all my friends, I even took the time to express post cookies to Fido before he left for Mexico. I wore pink today, and red shoes (really because I was looking for an excuse to finally wear them out) and wore pink make-up. The whole bit. Got together with T and a couple of her school friends and saw a sappy chick flick  movie, (The Vow....recommendation if you go to see the movie take tissue, and don't take your lover because I imagine it will make even prince charming look like a shmuck compared to Leo in the movie) and now I'm home after a long day of Valentine's enjoyment, and I'm spent. Feeling content and relaxed, the exact thing I think this day is supposed to encourage.

This whole experience made me realize a few things that I already knew, just had lost sight of. Love really is all around. I have great family and friends and don't need a man to fulfill my life. If I want roses? I can get them myself thank you very much. Would it be nice to have someone around to get them for me? Absolutely! Do I need it? Nope. I've got love on my side, because I love myself. So Cupid can suck it :P

Timing is everything.

So! I have been struggling this week. I know I've been super unmotivated this semester, but this week tool the cake. I have been sick, and I've been tired, and I've been trying to get everything together but its been really hard. That being said, after having a disasterous midterm last night, and being so freaking sick I decided enough was a enough and that desperate times called for desperate measures.When I was in Ireland last year I got a pretty nasty sinus infection. It was BAD. Sick, sniffly, sneezy and stuck on a bus with a bitch of a tour guide who failed to mention to me that there wouldn't ever be a good time for me to get some meds. However, being on vacation and being me, I was determined to make things work out. So I followed the whole idea of "When in Rome", except this time "When in Ireland". When in Ireland, you drink Guiness. Turns out the next day I was feeling MUCH better. Significantly better. I had heard that Guiness beer was said to have medicinal properties because of all the nutrients in it, and that night made me a believer.

So last night I drank Guiness, and this morning woke up feeling better than I had all week. Unfortuantely I took that as an excuse to lounge in bed all morning watching Project Runway Allstars. Unfortunately it was the exact time when the UPS man decided to come and I had to haul ass upstairs in my jammies, at 1:00 in the afternoon, looking like a total mess (my face is all chapped from four days of nose blowing), the curtains still drawn in my house.

And the UPS man had the AUDACITY to ask, "Did I wake you up?".

Well then. Timing is everything isn't it?