....at least someones getting lucky?

I have a problem. This issue has been going on for quite some time, and every time about this time of year it happens again and it lasts a few months before it goes away, but alas it travels back to haunt me. I have an infestation of epic proportions. They come back every year, and they mate like crazy breeding leaving more to return each fall. I have owls.

Not just any owls, two owls that hang out in the trees around my room window and "Who-whhooo' at each other all freaking night!! They also decide to occasionally .... get frisky? I'm guessing that these two 'old birds' have been either getting it on regularly each year, or they are new owls that live in the old nests or something because EVERY FREAKING YEAR.....I hear owls hoot after each other for like a month, followed by like three nights of what I can only imagine is chirpy owl love makin, followed by like another month of at least one month of at least one owl 'who-whooo'ing. After the first month of the incessant birds, I was starting to feel like any sleep I wanted to peacefully receive would require bigger measures. I called the handy municiple conservation officer.

BIG MISTAKE. Supposedly most owls common to this area are protected and doing anything to remove them from their habitat is illegal, or against city by-laws. Some hippy who gets their rocks off to bird calls came up with this I swear. So of course the minute I tell the conservation officer I have these little buggers having a hooting good time he of course takes down the name etc and COMES BY TO INSPECT THEM....now they are listed, tagged and being monitored becasue apparently the female is reproductively active.....shoot. Well then....that's no good. So I must be left to my own devices to entertain myself because there apparently is no getting rid of them now. And this is what I have thus far come up with: 

Late at night when these owls are....going about their business, I image what their lives must be like. Lady owl waits around a tree for the man owl to swoop by and impress her. They flirt, he calls, she calls back, they mingle, perhaps go out for a fly around town. He finally 'woos' her and rattles her feathers. She gets knocked up and lays her eggs. Man realizes "Whooowww wow woah woah woah I didn't sign up for this!!!" jumps nest and leaves when he sees three eggs in the nest. Lady owl is left to tend to the eggs and cry at night wondering how her life turned out like that......

I then wake up in the morning after finally blocking out the bloody owls with all their squawking and my my biologist side kicks in and start to question "how much common DNA to Owls and the average human male share?"