Customer Service Phonelines BYO-B?

The letter B stands for many things. Baby, break, bottle, bling and birthday. Today however my B stands for the following: bastards, bitching, brute and brains. As in, those bastards at Avery really need to get some better customer service support unless they want to continue to hear my bitching because the brutes that I dealt with are bots with no brains. Phew that feels better. Curious about my day? Well it all started with me being asked by the lady I'm temping for (who I shall refer to as Wonder Woman), to order labels.

The company I'm subbing for is a widely know and distributed company in it's field (they do all kinds of computer software for scientific research, nifty huh?) and currently they are trying to a promotional package together, and to do so they have decided that clear 1" Avery labels (item number 5248) are the ONLY thing that is going to work. Ok sure I understand no sweat! Fully loaded with the corporate credit card, a phone book and google, I believe this to be an easy task.

Perhaps the fact that wonder woman had yet to locate them as a clue (as far as I'm concerned this woman who I'm temping for is a Saint for all the crap she puts up with in a day if I'm only seeing even 1/10th of what she does in a day) that this task may be a little more in depth than previously thought.

I started off the job by calling a bunch of the office supply places in town that wonder woman had not yet tried. No dice. Fine, problem solved lets just call Avery. Surely they will be able to tell me where I can order them or at the very least be able to send them to me directly. That's what they do right? Supply labels and seals to offices who need them? Seemed legit enough. Apparently not.

The Avery customer service line has got to be the most poorly designed call in service in the world. Upon calling you are given two options. Service in English press 1, service in french option 2. Easy enough, one thanks. I press one, and another two options are given. For service in Canada press 1, for service in United States press 2. Sweet ok, 1 thanks. The phone rings and somehow magically you are dialed through to Computer Software Services.....WOOOOAH hold the phone? Why do I want to talk to these people??? HELLLLO where what THAT option? FINE. After trying to get a word in edge wise with the fellow who barely spoke English, I managed to get out that I believed to be at the wrong number and to please put me through to someone I could talk to about labels, as I clearly did not have software issues (ok well not with Avery so SHHH). The fellow on the other line seemed rather annoyed and put out, but patched me through none the less (Ie because it was his job and the call was recorded for quality control reasons....wow finally those warnings have come in handy!).

SO after 15 minutes on the phone with Avery software support, I am FINALLY through to customer service. I tell them my problem, and again I am given a huge ramble about Avery and cannot get a word in edge wise to clarify my problem, and might I add, am attempting to dechiper more broken english clearly being read ver bat-um off a script. Finally the lady pauses to take a breath and I jump in with the product code and the lady on the other end confirms that I want the clear mailing seals. Yes, I want them, where the EFF do I get them? She then tells me to call back staples (one of the places already called) because they can special order them for me as they carry 80% of all Avery products and they are my best bet for a Canadian Supplier as you cannot just order them off the website. Call Staples. Hmm...I'm pessimistic about this because if they were already called and wonder woman couldn't figure that out, then I figure somethings up. But this lady is INSISTENT and I figure, fine give it a go. At this point I'm starting to get concerned that I cannot order a companies product directly from a company, yet could purchase them from a drugstore.....but I digress

I call Staples preferred customers line and got the NICEST customer service rep I have EVER met (GO ROSE GO), who not only tried to order these labels, but when she couldn't went a million more steps to find me the numbers of where I could get them. She even tried company contacts, and googled and tried the Avery website to order them. While Rose also had no luck because as luck would have it THEY AREN'T AVAILABLE IN CANADA(I find this out later....but I suspected something was up when Amazing Rose couldn't special order them), I really greatly appreciated her help. So much in fact that I fully plan on emailing her supervisor tomorrow and singing her praises.

SO after Staples comes up empty I call Avery again. I get the SAME issue, where I am put through to software help and NOT customer, regardless of how many times I try to press 2 without getting service in the US or service in French (je ne parle pas le francis bien). The SAME fellow answers the phone and before he can even TRY to give me the whole shpeel on how the call will be recorded etc, I cut him off and tell him to patch me through to customer service and yes I know I'm at the wrong number. He doesn't say much (probably because he was ready to get a little stabby on me) and patches me through.

I get BACK to the same woman at customer service. BAH, she tries to tell me to call staples again. I cut her off at the punch to say that Staples doesn't have them, that we are a preferred customer, and that they cannot, as hard as they have tried (which I wanted to add was 5 million times harder than the actual Avery company) get them to me. I then told her "We need these labels, I want these labels, find me somewhere that will sell me your avery brand labels", and FINALLY she went "the labels you want are not available in Canada, this company is one of two that will sell them across the boarder"...

HOLD THE PHONE.....I called an hour before and you said to call Staples because they carried 80% of your products, and you KNEW which LABELS I wanted when I called because I told you the number and you confirmed clear labels....you just figured out I COULDN'T GET THEM......well.....GEE THANKS....seriously, because of you and your total lack of will to get the job done right I had to go on this wild goose chase. Really wish Customer Service had brought their brains and common sense to work today.

SO I finally get off the phone with them and call a company in California called Ellsworth (big shout out guys! You rock!) and following conversation took place:

Ex Student : My name is Ex Student and I'm calling from BC Canada, I need 2 pkgs of Avery Labels 5248 and I need them sent across the boarder as soon as possible, can you do this? (no hello, no pleasantries)

Ellsworth Company: You've been talking with the Avery so called customer service line haven't you?

Ex Student: How did you know?

Ellsworth: We get the majority of their annoyed Canadian clients, and yes we can get them to you, and yes they will go out on our next mail truck you'll have them tomorrow.

Ex Student: Ellsworth California? YOU ROCK.

So, that was day two at the tech company. Along with the great label chase of 2010, I also worked on an expense sheet (totally never done that before and man did it make me stir crazy), and ordered a 8ft cork board to put on an entire wall. I also get to spend my morning tomorrow calling England to set up a phone interview with a prospective employee! Oh and of course the maid duties of cleaning up after fully grown adults who leave tea bags in the sink over night. Sigh, I applied for another whack of jobs today, man do I hope something pans out so the temp work can end! But, another day another dollar, and tomorrow, I work another 8 hours so I can afford to go back to school, and clean up after myself :)

Some peoples children

Today, I joined the prestigious ranks of many before me and started my first day as a temp. Glamorous it was NOT.

This temp job was something I just sort of stumbled into, but needing the money, and a challenge I took it. This gig is subbing in for an HR support women, who when I met her for training looked pretty hagared. She looked tired, and had a hard time trying to explain things to me as she was exhausted. And today? I am starting to understand why.

Her job as an HR person, was watered down severely for me to be able to take over for the week, so I can only imagine that what I did today was perhaps about a tenth of what she would have done. The surprising part? I would have gotten a lot more if the majority of my day wasn't spent running around the office, printing stuff off for others, getting mail, picking up deliveries, answering phones and the door and my personal favorite? Cleaning up the kitchen after the other employees. How this woman gets up every day to go into work and play mother to the staff is totally beyond me.

Upon arrival this morning it was my job to check the email, the voicemail and empty the dishwasher. Then I put away the grocery order, then I answered some more phones, and called all the people on the list to get things fixed or cleaned in the office. How this woman also assists the accountant and the talent and culture person is beyond me, because this office seems to have the same disease that plagues my own house, the dishwasher avoidance disease.

Nothing is more annoying than people that rinse the dish in the sink and leave it there, when the dishwasher is only 3 inches away from the sink. So instead the water pools in the dirty dishes, and cutlery piles up, making me the poor innocent temp, or the actual employee, roll up their sleeve and empty the slimy water and retrieve grimy cutlery to get it into the dishwasher after they've been soaking all day. Awesome huh? While I really don't have a problem with this task, I can't imagine someone who has a million other things to do actually does it. How degrading? To be a professional working in a professional office and yet be forced to clean up after kids? These people are all perfectly responsible adults, all with post secondary (I'm working at a tech company), and yet? They cannot clean up after themselves. I went to one of my "business" friends. And basically once I relayed the office behavior to him, and he basically told me that this is pretty common. That professionals are billed out higher, so they get in trouble when they clean up after themselves....because apparently their time is more valuable. WELL THEN. Last time I checked it took a heart to be human, and that nothing on earth made you worth more than any other, sooo I'm wrong? Sad state of reality has started to set in.

Positive thing out of all of this? I know I do not want to work at a desk all day. I cannot imagine sitting at a desk in front of a screen crunching numbers. My neck is stiff, my back hurts and worst of all my eyes are blurry! Who wants this for their life? I'm starting to see how people can work a 9-5 and just punch in and punch out. I guess what I really want after all is not a "job" but a career or lifestyle. So! Ex Student Project? Still going strong, as am out in the work force navigating the real world. The preliminary outcome? If the real world means that I will have to work a shit job where I clean up for lazy 'holier than thou' coworkers? SIGN ME BACK UP FOR SCHOOL ASAP!!!!!

Not Musically Inclined? Let me help you!

So, I've been around the block, musically that is. I've seen many a band live and I've bought way too many a cd. Live music is the best, and nothing can beat it but should you not be able to see the band live, a cd is always a good option. Now I'm not saying I don't dl music because I do, but rest assured itunes and I are tight, and if I like something I generally buy the cd. I'm old school, I like having the actual album, along with the art. I like to proudly display my cds on a very snazzy ikea brand shelf unit, and anything that doesn't fit (ie the stuff I'm not interested in right now....yes I rotate my cds) goes into a pile in my closet. So here are my CD recommendations of the day. In alphabetical order by band (as they appear on my shelf):

Armchair Cynics (Killing the Romance): This band is a local rock/alternative band, that you might know by their song "coal mine" or "ablaze". They have 3 cds out, including an acoustic coffee shop album that are also good. Killing the romance is a good mix of rock with a varied mix of fast and slow tunes. I find the album full of power music. The songs that demand to be played loudly and that make you want to shut your eyes sit back and belt out the lyrics because they sit so close to home. Coal Mine, and Bang were the title tracks off the album but I think the best songs are "Smile" and "Lost Control". Like em? Try: The Art of Dying, Finger 11(as seen in the picture).

Barenaked Ladies (Gordon): While I do own most of their ablums, I believe this one to be the best. Not only did it have "If I had a million dollars" and "Hello City", it also had Enid and "King of bedside manner". If you've never ventured into "naked" territory than you are really missing out. Those that never got the chance to see the Ladies as the original group are really unfortunate as these guys demand to be seen live to really enjoy them. Their Gordan CD is a definite second. Like em? Try: Jack Johnson, Counting Crows, Cake.

Cobra Starship (While the City Sleeps, We Rule the Streets): This is another band that not a lot of people know about. They are a mostly pop with some funk, rock and rap infusions, and their music is seriously awesome to dance to. This album contains the song now dubbed my theme song, making "Church of Hot Addiction" a great club song. They sing it like it is, and they certainly have a good time. If you like them? Try : Faber Drive, Fall Out Boy.

Franz Ferdinand (Tonight: Franz Ferdinand): Another band with more than one album out, but this one is my favorite. You'll probably know them by the song "Take me out" from their first album or "no you girls" as it was on the Ipod Commerical. This cd is a funky jazzy rock album. Want a real treat? See them live and be prepared to be totally amazed. This album keeps things fresh and mixes them up, while going along with a rock medley, but mixed with some jazz to switch things up. An album that can be listened from start to finish with out the need of the stereo remote. Like em? Try: The Killers, Jet, The White Stripes.

Horrorpops! (Hell Yeah!): This funky band, is more of a ska band than anything. The lead instrument is a stand up bass played by a vivacious blond. They don't take shit, and they don't follow the rules, which makes the album 'Hell Yeah!' and amazing album with multiple sounds, that you would expect to clash but instead they fuse together to make you feel invincible at the end. So turn it up loud, bop your head along, and enjoy! Best songs? 'Where they wander' and 'psychobitches out of hell'. Like em? Try: Nexcromantix, and Vampire Weekend.

Inward Eye (Throwing Bricks Instead of Kisses): Another home grown Canadian Band. They did play a live stint during the Vancouver 2010 Olympics during the closing ceremonies, but their album is better represenation of what they do. Rock meets alternative, they were also featured on a free itunes dl from starbucks. Try 'Day after Day', its sure to get you to stand up and make a mini mosh right in your house. Like em? Try: Kings of Leon, Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

Marianas Trench (Fix Me): This is a great rock meets punk album by home grown Canadian boys. I swear I don't listen to only Canadian rock bands!!. This is their first album and I enjoyed it so much because its kind of gritty, not so finished. Should you have only heard their second album and written them off, take another look. Their style may have changed for the second album, but the talent was always there and they totally deserve another investigation. Alibis and Say Anything are my favs off the album but I say give it a listen yourself and find your own. Like em? Try: All American Rejects.

Well I hope this keeps your ears a going for a little bit! Now I am off to do some laundry for my first day on my temp job tomorrow, and to get some sleep. If you have any like em? try: suggestions I'm always interested! Want me to review a cd? Let me know!

Cheers!

Yes, no, yes, no, yes - my rant about my life

Ever feel totally and utterly without a clue? Like you know what you want, but you haven't a clue how to get there, or what that 'want' is? Well that seems to be my problem lately.

Upon entry into the workforce, I started to notice this really baffling trend. With every 12 applications/resumes I put out, only MAYBE one response was coming back. I have a list of places I have applied to for jobs (that do not necessarily use my degree) and rarely do I get an interview. Now I know it sounds obnoxious, but given that every summer I've always been able to line up great summer jobs, I figured after graduating, that SOMETHING would come up, if not the perfect job fine (I was willing to take whatever) but something to make me some cash. Well, turns out? The job search front sucks. Apparently due to the tanking of the economy seen not only in the USA, but also in Canada the majority of companies are looking to downsize, not hire. Anyone that was laid off in the cut backs are now applying along with the recent grads, except they have the one thing we lack. This golden thing called experience.

Now here's the kicker, for me mostly. Even when searching for jobs, and blasting through job postings, there is nothing I really want. With the exception of a couple (which of course I have not heard back from) I haven't applied for anything I want to do. None of the applications I have put out have been for jobs that I would kill to do, but simply wouldn't mind doing for a little while. I know I want to travel next spring, but I also know to do that I need to make some money. So what to do? When I sit and think about what I want to do, what is it that would make me happy? Why isn't my degree helping me get anywhere? Why don't I want to work in a lab (which is basically all my BSc has made me good for, not that I'm certified or anything...even that is more schooling).

So after careful consideration I decided to start talking to career councilors at various schools, starting with my most current university. We talked and came to a decision that I should yes be in healthcare, and that yes that's what I want but that rehabilitation is probably what's best for me, and that most likely physiotherapy training (getting a masters of physiotherapy) would most likely be along the lines of me doing what I enjoy most. Well ok great. A plan! Woot! This I can handle! How do I do that?

Apparently to do that I must have a BSc (CHECK! WOOT!) but I also have to have this huge whack of pre-recs. Ok...well...that sucks but thats fine. Get pre-recs for physio and up my GPA at the same time. Seems smart to me. Can't find a job anyways, might as well go retail or service industry and go back to school. Well...as always it turns out that the pre recs add up to almost an entire other degree. WTF was the point of the first one then? DAMN IT! Fine, ok, more careful consideration, and talks with my mom, sure suck it up do it if it makes me happy. Ugh. School. Awesome. Turns out the school I graded from has this awesome Kinesiology program that would give me the best chance at physio. Fine I conceed, back to school I go to re-apply. Brilliant.

After reapplying to school I find out that not only do I not have the GPA to get into the kinesiology program, but that I also am missing two pre-recs for that class, and at that point I may as well go back and do a whole other damn semester. OK SERIOUSLY. Where it gets even more annoying is that my school and a few of the others I have looked at and spoken to all say the same thing. There are X# of spots available, we line the GPA's up and at X# we draw a line. Above the line gets in, below thanks for coming out but sorry you're out.

So here I sit. Totally conflicted. Do I go back or not? If I go back it means finding the cash for a full school semester, and having to work a job while in school to do it. Thats the shits. It also means the possibility that I might not find anything part time that is flexible around school. And to top it off there is a good chance I won't even get in to the program. And then there is the extremely unpleasent thought that I would have to go back and boost my GPA which means working my ass off, and what happens if I don't get the right grades? Then what? Do I want to waste another semester? Would it really be wasting? Should I apply to both Kinesiology at my current university, but should I also take the time to apply to Physio schools all over the place and just see what happens? Why should GPA determine all of this? I get it, you want the best of the best, but what does GPA have to do with it? I know they want someone that makes an effort but why not look at things like extra cirriculars, and what kind of person you are? Why does being able to kiss a proff's butt matter when you could be out there making a difference too? Shouldn't that matter?

Ugh this is totally fustrating. My mom says to go back if I don't find a job that I love, because the job front is so poor anyways, and I think that's what I will end up doing, but I have to get into school first.

All through out University, I just had this feeling like everything would work out as it should. And thats mostly what happened. Summer jobs were always there, and classes always worked out as they needed to, and now? Well I don't know. Temping popped up when I started to feel crunched for money. So maybe I should just wait it out and see where life leads me?

So here I sit, totally confused, feeling unemployable, uneducated and over whelmed. To anyone out there feeling any of the above, I feel for you and know that you are not alone. Not in any way shape or form. We can do this! We can make it! We can get back at this terribly economy. I know I plan to tomorrow while spending some much needed time in the mall amping up my wardrobe (and before you all judge me know that that I currently only have one office appropriate outfit and I'm temping all next week so I need at least another pair of pants to swap every other day :P)

Back to reality

So, the last couple days I've been pretty much MIA. Where have I been? Well fear not I did NOT die under the stack of stuff I've spent the majority of my time archiving etc. Although, there was one Monty incident that I certainly questioned if I would ever survive this project. Well last night I made my way out of town to visit my Aunts. My Aunts and I get along famously, and a good time is always had by all, esp when tequila is involved.

In short: margaritta's + good food + great conversation + Scrabble = EPIC night of fun.

I always have such a good time when I go to visit them. My Aunt C is this super awesome artist masquerading as a carpenter/trades person, and her and her life partner live in this great open floored place where essentially the whole place is like an open studio/gallery for her work. I'm super stoaked to hear that she is contemplating being a full time artist instead of being a carpenter to pay the bills and an artist on the side. My other Aunt M is getting ready to leave town to do some schooling (hence the journey to get in some drinking time before she leaves). I always leave feeling super inspired, refreshed and, well, slightly hung over when I leave their place. So with that night away, I come back home to reality. In desperate need of getting back to my scanning project, doing laundry and figuring out the whole work thing. HOWEVER! In the mean time, I might not be the 'ex student' much longer, back to school September to get a couple pre-recs for a new program? I applied today, whilst wearing last nights party clothes and slightly hung over. Ready to be a proper student? I'll keep everyone (should there be anyone that follows this blog) posted!

....Yea I really need a meeting.

where am I? I am under stacks of pictures, documents, programs and all sorts of newspaper clippings dated as far back as the 1950's. Every single piece needs to be scanned in individually, labelled, then filed into a file pertaining to the date (should something have no date it will go into its own dateless file). My guess...there's something close to a thousand articles here to be scanned and documented. The problem? The scanning software I downloaded to do all of this is only a free trial. I have 29 more days to get this project finished! Wish me luck!

Cool stuff that I've found in this box of tricks? Pictures of my skating coach when she was a student. Pictures of when the original arena I first skated in had its opening day events. Pictures of old fashioned costumes and skates all in black and white. These pictures are telling the history of figure skating to me, and more specifically the history of my skating club, which btw is the second oldest skating club in Canada! All of these pictures are part of the fabric that today weaves the club I am so proud to be a member of. Also! Perk it's giving me some great ideas for club publicity for the fall, but it might be a little too soon to tell.

So here I am. Under a mountain of scanning work to do and not too long to do it (considering the amount) and the fact that the sooner its scanned and sorted, the sooner it can be saved on CD/DVD and the sooner I can make sure that these pictures and memories are never lost! Oh and it doesn't help that once I'm done we can use the pictures to start promoting the club to get membership up. What good is yesterday if no one is around to see it tomorrow?

More details on my new discoveries to follow! Of course I'm not alone in this venture! Monty is right here helping me out....

Hmmm perhaps I need a meeting?

They say the strong and the brave admit when they have a problem, and as a result they are the ones that recover with the most success. So today I am taking a page out of all those brave and strong out there and admitting I have a problem. My name is Ex-Student and I am a volunteer-a-holic.

I have all the symptoms. Whenever someone needs a volunteer, I speak up. All that needs to be asked is "do we have any volunteers?", and somehow my arm with out my knowledge, raises itself and the next thing I know is I'm writing down a new project and wondering how the heck I'm going to reconfigure my schedule to fit it all in. When you really need someone? I'm the one that steps in.I attend weekly/monthly meetings and talk with others in the same boat as me, all caring about the same cause. See? I'm a woman obsessed!

This is how I managed to get up to my ears in skating in high school, along with grad council, and a full course load. My first year of community college I took on another skating team, my own solo skating, a full course load and a part time job. My first year of University I took on secretary of the University skating club because someone else couldn't commit to it any longer, and course my own personal skating and a part time job. I took on President because there was no one else brave enough to do it, and I took on my personal skating clubs executive because they were in need of people. I started volunteering at the hospital because I needed volunteer hours for a program I was contemplating taking, but now I volunteer for fun, as well as train others to volunteer.

My latest volunteer stint? Course Marshaling for a Triathlon. About a week ago my old boss (who I adore and still call my boss) posted a facebook message (damn you fb!!!) stating they desperately needed volunteers for a triathlon being held this weekend. I figured that with Father's Day (love my Dad!!) and the fact that this is the last month of school for most peoples kids that no one was free. So I signed up. I moved a few things around (my hospital volunteering gig actually) and signed myself up. It was only after I said I would help that I was told the catch. 'Be at the park for 5:45am'. FIVE FORTY FIVE AM? ON A SUNDAY? AFTER MY GRAD PARTY ON SATURDAY? ARE YOU INSANE? WELL obviously I stayed out late on the Saturday, and got up super early for Sunday. 5:45 came and I was up dressed, at the park ready to volunteer with a smile on my face (I didn't realize how light out it was at 5:45). I spent the day meeting new people and discussing everything under the sun, while cheering on all the crazy (read AMAZING) people doing the Half Iron Man. Come 12 pm? DEAD FREAKING TIRED. Spend the rest of my day in bed trying to warm up and catch up on some sleep. (BTW WAY TO GO TRIATHLON CONTESTANTS! YOU ROCK!!). I was willing to freeze my butt off, put myself in the middle of traffic, and miss out on a decent nights all to help out others. Did I love it? YES

I once heard somewhere that one in three Canadians volunteers on average, so I assume that this number is so high because of people like me skewing the curve. Now I'm not necessarily saying I need to STOP volunteering,because honestly if I didn't love it I wouldn't do it. Perhaps I just need to better pick my battles. Helping out organizations I believe in? Check! Doing things and getting them done because others are too lazy? FAIL. My latest "I can do it!" hand up moment? Just signed myself up for a new Skating club project! Scanning pictures to add to facebook for our group, and making posters for publicity. Hmmm are there meetings I can volunteer to go to for this problem? How will this end up? Who knows but I look forward to the challenge!

Four legged family trumps two legged any day.

My cat is a jerk. In my house we've always had animals. My dad's the biggest animal lover in the world and therefore the biggest pushover whenever it came to pets (my mom? not so much but dad always managed to win her over). We've always had a dog and at least two cats. I was raised to believe that our pets were really just furrier siblings, except they were the ones you never picked on. Should a cat be sleeping in the only available chair in the living room, you sit on the floor. Should the cat be soaking wet, you get them a towel and towel them off till they are dry, regardless of how many times they go in and out. Our dog had monthly appointments scheduled with the groomer, and was brushed at least 4 times a week. People that come into the farm used to look for the dog and bring her cookies, needless to say she was seriously over weight.

Now somehow our cats tend to be very eccentric, we do not raise typical run of the mill house cats, oh no these? These cats are spoiled rotten and all have eccentric personalities.

Examples? Bart who weighed 25 pounds thought he was a dog (ate dog food, liked to be brushed), and liked to eat your toothbrush, and had a thing for eating popcorn. Stella: the cat who liked to climb curtains, rip open cat treat bags, and would let only my dad pet her (she would hiss at the rest of us) Her tail was also permanently kinked but we got her like that. Bear: loved to sleep on your textbooks, newspaper, trashy chick lit book, paperwork or laptop just to be in your face, she would also enjoy rubbing her butt against your face (ensuring a mouthful of cat fur). Lucy: enjoyed peeing on EVERYTHING (both before and after we got her fixed) and liked to pick on all other cats (we HAD to give her to a family with no other pets and apparently she's stopped peeing like crazy). Ceaser: Liked to try and cross the road and as a result got hit by a car and broke his back and had to be caged for 6 weeks to let it heal, he now gets scared by loud noises and runs away from the vacuum. Elmo: the least friendly yet most demanding cat you will ever meet, he will get in your face and demand you pet him, should you not he will claw you and yes he has caused the need for stitches when he doesn't get his way.

All of the above? They do not compare to the crazy antics and annoying ways of my current cat Monty. We recently lost a cat and once that happened my dad in total despare (we lost our 14 year old black lab only a month before) sent my sister to our local SPCA (we only rescue cats, no specialty cats for us) and that is how we got Monty. My sister B (I have two sisters K and B) claimed that she picked Monty because he was "cuddly and friendly" which we later discovered actually meant he was an "independent con-artist". This cat? He does not like to cuddle, he does not like to be pet. He does like to be around people (which I suspect is a result of being alone all the time in the SPCA)but only on his own terms.

So fine, he likes to be around, the cat loves attention in the form of being fed and sleeping on the chair you want to sit on, but what makes him a Jerk? Oh how about the fact that he will jump on the counter top and eat whatever you're trying to prepare for dinner if you don't watch him carefully? He shreds textbooks, newspapers, napkins, paper towels, kleenex, toilet paper, and any other possible paper product that we forget to put away. He drinks out of the toilet and leaves the seat wet (yes we leave out a dish of clean water for him but apparently the toilet is where its at), he brings in dead rabbits and HIDES them behind the TV or bookshelves. Today's asshole cat adventure? Clean laundry gone black.

With things like grad and the one job interview I had, along with the idea that I'm looking into sports therapy programs for a years time, I have let things like laundry go to the way side. So today? I finally get up early and decide to do laundry. I wash it, I fold it and then I had to run out and get a bunch of my grad pictures printed to give out to family tonight. I come home and where is Monty? Filthy dirty having been out in the garden with my mom rolling in COMPOST, sleeping on top of my freshly washed, newly folded and some ironed, WHITE laundry. So I pout with absolute frustration, and wander upstairs where I tell my dad what happened. His comment? "Don't disturb him, he's had a very stressful day. Playing in the garden is hard work". I'm going to repeat this back to him next time he complains about the cat sleeping in his chair leaving him with nowhere to sit.

Who are these people? And why are we always talking about them?

I don't know if it's just me, and that maybe I'm just so off in my own little universe that I miss entire peoples importance, but occasionally, one of my guilty pleasure websites (ie gossip rags) will start heavily posting about certain 'stars' that I swear I have never heard of. It all happens out of nowhere! And they post about these 'ghost stars' like I should not only know who they are but think their 'totally awesome because their famous'. Prime examples include: The Kardashians, Paris Hilton, and Ke$ha.

Not too long ago my sister and I had a conversation about them during a road trip, and after racking our brains (which are FULL of Hollywood gossip) we could not for the life of us figure out why they are famous,or even who they heck they all are. The great and mighty google machine revealed that The Kardashain daughters are the resultant offspring of Kris Jenner and Robert Kardashian (Who is apparently only famous because he defended O.J Simpson), who were married till 1981, then after Jenner and Kardashian split, Jenner went on to marry Bruce Jenner (and that's how she got the last name Jenner). So thats it. Thats all. That's why their famous. Their dad made sure that O.J. Simpson got to walk free, and the daughters all co-own a clothing company. Awesome. My Dad moves around poop for a living to....does that mean I can be on TV? Bah, next victim please.

Paris Hilton. Ok so I know that she is an heiress to a massive fortune, and that her parents own hotels, but let me just confirm it with my good buddy Wikipedia. Wikipedia reports that she is the great granddaughter or Conrad Hilton, who started the Hilton Hotel chain we know today. Ok....so? Well, Wikipedia also goes on to mention that she is best known for her controversial appearance in a sex-tape. Ok SO have rich parents, get sex tape = CELEBRITY. Also guess it doesn't help to neglect personal hygiene in public (ie all the crotch shots sans knickers). Hmm the further along this journey of celeb identication I get, the better I feel about not knowing these people, it shows that perhaps being under a rock is not the problem but that being out and missing all this bad TV is (or is it?). NEXT!

Ke$ha. Who the devil is this Ke$ha person and why does she get so much bloody radio play time when all she sings about is drinking/drugs/and Michael Jackson Transformations (That 'Don't stop song' annoys the absolute begeesus out of me). I really have no idea on earth where this one came from, but her music is not my flavour, nor is her disturbing public reputation as a 'gardening tool'. Wikipedia to the rescue again! Ok so this story is pretty typical of the pop stars in Hollywood (even though she claims to be a white female rapper under her label, yea right, sure, and Britney Spears was a virgin after even after her break up with JT, uh huh I believe you).

Here's the story: Girl comes from poor family, mother barely gets by and works in a Studio so brings kid to work (well no kidding, daycare is expensive!). Kid plays in studio where mom teachers her everything about music etc. ETC ETC, Ke$ha gets involved with famous singer/rapper Flo Ridda and voila instant star! This is similar to how Jennifer Lopez became famous, as well as other now washed out artists including: Eminemn, Fifty Cent.

So now that I've had my media enlightenment I sit back and think. The majority of people that are famous for reasons I completely do not understand, tend to stick around in the media, Paris Hilton and the Kardashians alone fill up a vast percentage of ONTD posts. Famous people that strive to get where they are and come from nothing, they tend to get 'nothing' in the way of long term gossip blog posting. Scary? I am investing in a tin foil hat as I type.

So all you aspiring Hollywood socialites out there? Unless you're family is loaded, you get on survivor or you have some desire to show yourself having sex on the big screen, change your goals. Go to school, go do something brilliant, and instead of being famous for being called a 'garden tool', you'll go down in the history books as the person who KNEW how to wear underwear, or wear a short dress AND get out of the car in a 'lady like'. Heck of a lot better than being known as the star who puked in someones closet!

In University I learned about life, I learned science from watching TV.

Tonight I met up for coffee with one of my best friends, who I also tend to call my partner in crime. This is the friend that always seems to be with me when I get into a particularly interesting situation that upon later inspection makes me wonder how in the heck I managed to get there in the first place. Anyways, she also happens to be one of my oldest friends as I've known her since grade school, and we just so happen to be graduating during the same week of graduation ceremonies (so in other words we both finished our degrees in the winter semester).

Generally I see her a couple times a week and growing up I basically had my own bedroom at her house, but due to our ever changing and hectic schedules we hadn't actually caught up in almost three weeks. Needless to say much talking and gossiping took place. She had already gone through her convocation ceremony this week, where as mine is tomorrow, and well the whole 'grad' thing got us talking about life in general, and we came to the following conclusion: I learned more about life in general during University than I did about my major.

I was (and I guess I still am technically) a biology major and most of what I dealt with through my degree was things like microbes and bugs, the history of biology, and even vampire movies (oh yea it was a course and damn good one at that). I was able to cram in dates and formulas for a midterm or final, and of course forget it the next day. Anything lasting that I take away from me my University has nothing to do with copulating microbes (oh yea that was a two week lab during second year, and no its not nearly as dirty as you think).

University taught me about life; how to live it and what I wanted from it. Sure I took labs, but ask me right now how to make up a chemical and I wouldn't be able to tell you, ask me how to work well with a TA chosen partner who scares the begeesus out of me and I can answer that no problem (wear a flame retardant lab coat and never neglect your safety goggles). If you asked me how to operate a hearing aid, I would look at you with a blank expression (I took a lot of neurobiology classes where we talked about this a lot), but ask me how to deal with an asshole professor who gets to decide if you graduate or not with the mark from that class, and you bet I am well trained to study (with of course a side of cramming) hard, argue lots and write strongly opinionated letters expressing grading injustices.

I learned how to suck it up and get'r'done, but I also learned when to stand up and argue (you gotta fight for your right to party folks). I learned that while I am fascinated with how the human body works, I have no desire to stare into microscopes all day dealing with samples from humans, I want to be with the humans (shockingly enough after many opinions to the contrary I am a people person). I learned that one should never settle because where you are is 'the only place that would take you' or 'you can't get what you want'. I've learned that when someone says "no you can't" its really just code for "I dare you to try" and if you really want it it generally will lead to a "HA I proved you wrong" followed by a well deserved happy dance.

I discovered who my real friends were. It made me better able to distinguish between who my occasional drinking buddies were and those who would drop anything at a minutes notice to help you out. You learn a lot about people in general. I can remember taking anatomy classes where the friendliest people in the class would turn snide the minute you were taking too long with the skeleton they figured belonged to them exclusively and not the class as a whole. I took a biochemistry lab where my assigned partner, while a smart guy, was a total klutz and lit his eyebrows on fire. You learn that humans are flawed, and that you yourself are also flawed (and it's so not worth arguing it), and it does not make you a lesser person for admitting it, it frees you.

University (or whatever post secondary you might be taking or want to take) does open doors (whether it be trade school, university or community college) , but they are rarely the ones you think. Yes you can learn a lot and then hopefully go onto a job in the field you love, but should the scholastics fail you (and yes it happens, so all those people who hate on grads that are still clueless go play in traffic) it is vital to know that the life lessons you will take away from it are more than worth the degree. So I say go to univeristy, find who you are, and then figure out what you want to do, because the dream job is only the icing on the cake :)

By the end of the evening my friend and I were back to talking about our job searches, and mutual friends, and TV shows we watch and the movies we wanted to see. And while yes, both of us are wondering what the future holds for us we know that we can take it on because we? We surived University, and we know that us being friends, is not going to be a skeleton stealing bitch situation.

Being wrong never tasted so crisp and dry

Ever find that every time you say that you don’t like something, or that you can’t do something, someone/something somehow tries to call your bluff? Well the Universe called my bluff today big time.

Awhile ago I got a facebook message inviting me to have drinks and dessert with some of my old high school friends, who in the past have always been a little more ahead of me in the game of life. They are all graduates, they all have 'adult' jobs, and serious committed significant others. Regardless the date was set for a wine bar and well to be honest I am no wino and I don’t tend to like it when I have to sit and hear others blab on about how great they are while sniffing and sipping their wine. I tend to think I’m not old enough to appreciate wine and the idea of going out for was wasted on me.

Well turns out I didn’t know how good of a time I was going to have. I generally don’t like wine (their evening special was mighty tasty and has made me a believer), these people and I don’t have much in common (apparently it didn’t matter to make it through tonight’s conversation which focused around movies viewed and books read) and that I would leave feeling unsuccessful compared to them (nope, work barely came up unless talking about HST).

Apparently most of my friends are pretty tied down (even if they don’t admit it) and I must say it felt pretty exhilarating to not be tied down at that point. I was the only person at the table that could up and do whatever they wanted and be totally selfish. And that? Well that made me feel pretty awesome because for once I had only my best interest in mind and not someone elses. While I know my friends are all very happy I couldn't help but realize that their lives? Not my box of two buck chuck :)

Ok so the moral of the day (and I swear there is one in here) is such: Things are not always as they seem, and sometimes the universe is really out to get you (hence flat tires, bad hair days and the fact that cake goes straight to your ass). Yet sometimes you just need a good swift kick in the ass to remind you that while it’s great to be who you are, the taste of stuffing your foot in your mouth can also taste like Mount Nelson Sauvignon Blanc.

Welcome!

Is this as weird for me as it is for you? I have talked about starting up a blog to all my friends for awhile now, and they all agreed that it was a good idea, stating that the situations that I manage to get into somehow would be useful for making others laugh. They also may have mentioned something about how great it would be if there were strangers out there that wanted to subject themselves to my crazy so that they could get a break every now and then (which I HOPE was just them being silly...right guys?).

Anyways. So here I am. Blog started, name picked (btw? that was stressful!), template and all affliated colour schemes and fonts picked out (also hard to decide on) and all 'gadgets' started.

Why 'the ex student project'? Well I just happen to be a recent University grad (BSc thank you very much) but now? Well I don't have a whole lot on my plate. When I was in school working away on my degree, I took on every thing I could. Need a volunteer? I was your go to person. Need someone to input data for the lab? Sure I'll take care of it. Have a job that starts the day after final exams finish? Sign me up! Concert of one of the bands I love but its in the middle of the week? Meh I can study en route ringing ears be damned!

I ran clubs, special events, lead lab groups, took part in fundraisers, studied my butt off in study groups, made time for friends and traveled all over the place in search of the perfect stage performance. So it's easy to see why starting a blog took a back seat. But now? Well besides job hunting and planning trips I can't afford, I have a lot of time to catch up on things I missed during all my crazy school antics.

I have very little experience with being unemployed, and not having a school schedule to go back to in September, but I figure I didn't know how to be student till I decided to graduate. In general I've never had so much free time (I know you all must be thinking 'poor her, sheesh') but none the less here I am. An Ex-student cleverly disguised as a responsible adult attempting to take on the real world! Wish me luck!