Ever feel totally and utterly without a clue? Like you know what you want, but you haven't a clue how to get there, or what that 'want' is? Well that seems to be my problem lately.
Upon entry into the workforce, I started to notice this really baffling trend. With every 12 applications/resumes I put out, only MAYBE one response was coming back. I have a list of places I have applied to for jobs (that do not necessarily use my degree) and rarely do I get an interview. Now I know it sounds obnoxious, but given that every summer I've always been able to line up great summer jobs, I figured after graduating, that SOMETHING would come up, if not the perfect job fine (I was willing to take whatever) but something to make me some cash. Well, turns out? The job search front sucks. Apparently due to the tanking of the economy seen not only in the USA, but also in Canada the majority of companies are looking to downsize, not hire. Anyone that was laid off in the cut backs are now applying along with the recent grads, except they have the one thing we lack. This golden thing called experience.
Now here's the kicker, for me mostly. Even when searching for jobs, and blasting through job postings, there is nothing I really want. With the exception of a couple (which of course I have not heard back from) I haven't applied for anything I want to do. None of the applications I have put out have been for jobs that I would kill to do, but simply wouldn't mind doing for a little while. I know I want to travel next spring, but I also know to do that I need to make some money. So what to do? When I sit and think about what I want to do, what is it that would make me happy? Why isn't my degree helping me get anywhere? Why don't I want to work in a lab (which is basically all my BSc has made me good for, not that I'm certified or anything...even that is more schooling).
So after careful consideration I decided to start talking to career councilors at various schools, starting with my most current university. We talked and came to a decision that I should yes be in healthcare, and that yes that's what I want but that rehabilitation is probably what's best for me, and that most likely physiotherapy training (getting a masters of physiotherapy) would most likely be along the lines of me doing what I enjoy most. Well ok great. A plan! Woot! This I can handle! How do I do that?
Apparently to do that I must have a BSc (CHECK! WOOT!) but I also have to have this huge whack of pre-recs. Ok...well...that sucks but thats fine. Get pre-recs for physio and up my GPA at the same time. Seems smart to me. Can't find a job anyways, might as well go retail or service industry and go back to school. Well...as always it turns out that the pre recs add up to almost an entire other degree. WTF was the point of the first one then? DAMN IT! Fine, ok, more careful consideration, and talks with my mom, sure suck it up do it if it makes me happy. Ugh. School. Awesome. Turns out the school I graded from has this awesome Kinesiology program that would give me the best chance at physio. Fine I conceed, back to school I go to re-apply. Brilliant.
After reapplying to school I find out that not only do I not have the GPA to get into the kinesiology program, but that I also am missing two pre-recs for that class, and at that point I may as well go back and do a whole other damn semester. OK SERIOUSLY. Where it gets even more annoying is that my school and a few of the others I have looked at and spoken to all say the same thing. There are X# of spots available, we line the GPA's up and at X# we draw a line. Above the line gets in, below thanks for coming out but sorry you're out.
So here I sit. Totally conflicted. Do I go back or not? If I go back it means finding the cash for a full school semester, and having to work a job while in school to do it. Thats the shits. It also means the possibility that I might not find anything part time that is flexible around school. And to top it off there is a good chance I won't even get in to the program. And then there is the extremely unpleasent thought that I would have to go back and boost my GPA which means working my ass off, and what happens if I don't get the right grades? Then what? Do I want to waste another semester? Would it really be wasting? Should I apply to both Kinesiology at my current university, but should I also take the time to apply to Physio schools all over the place and just see what happens? Why should GPA determine all of this? I get it, you want the best of the best, but what does GPA have to do with it? I know they want someone that makes an effort but why not look at things like extra cirriculars, and what kind of person you are? Why does being able to kiss a proff's butt matter when you could be out there making a difference too? Shouldn't that matter?
Ugh this is totally fustrating. My mom says to go back if I don't find a job that I love, because the job front is so poor anyways, and I think that's what I will end up doing, but I have to get into school first.
All through out University, I just had this feeling like everything would work out as it should. And thats mostly what happened. Summer jobs were always there, and classes always worked out as they needed to, and now? Well I don't know. Temping popped up when I started to feel crunched for money. So maybe I should just wait it out and see where life leads me?
So here I sit, totally confused, feeling unemployable, uneducated and over whelmed. To anyone out there feeling any of the above, I feel for you and know that you are not alone. Not in any way shape or form. We can do this! We can make it! We can get back at this terribly economy. I know I plan to tomorrow while spending some much needed time in the mall amping up my wardrobe (and before you all judge me know that that I currently only have one office appropriate outfit and I'm temping all next week so I need at least another pair of pants to swap every other day :P)
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