So in a new low attempt to get out of doing school work, and ignoring the fact that I should be looking for jobs (I've applied for some lately so I guess that's good....nothing is turning up), I've been paying special attention to the site "Funny Exams". (check it out here if you're interested funnyexam.com).
Basically the site pays tribute to funny exam answers that teachers and probably even parents post for others to enjoy. I know that there is also a popular forward that has a bunch of funny exam answers in them but this is the full meal deal.
So I'm flipping through the funnies, looking at answers, reading real students essays on people (one particularly entertaining one about Will "Fresh Prince" Smith, where the essay was concluded with "Thanks homes smell ya later!".) and events (where it was quoted that "like all Spanish things, El Ninio was evil"...their words not mine), and I'm noticing that all the really funny ones are all penned by students named Peter. No word of a lie.
I have observed "Peter" write an essay on Walt Whitman, describing him as 3000 years old and 30 stories tall, might I also add that "Peter" stated in the introduction of his essay that the only reason for writing said essay was because the teacher said to either "Pick a poet and take this class seriously or not bother coming to class anymore". Your teacher is going to see you're strong academic worth ethic here I just know it! (I can't get the photos to embed but heres the link if you're so inclined: http://funnyexam.com/answers/popular/1607-the-most-amazing-biography)
"Peter" takes to it again in a biography of an influential person in world war two : Jimmy McPearson. Jimmy McPearson, 'Peter" describes, is a "not well sung hero. He's not in any textbooks and he's not known by many people, and some might argue is not even a documented citizen".....this doesn't look promising..."Peter" continues on, "Jimmy was born to a nice slave couple, grew up in Harlem Chicago, and joined a gang to get his "props""......ohhh dear. Peter goes on to describe Jimmy as a gangster who was living "good" till the "Japanese sprung a sneak attack on his home town killing his parents instantly". Apparently the history books missed that too. Basically the rest of the essay goes on to say that Jimmy went on to plot revenge against the Japanese, saying he killed Hitler.....yup "Peter" is clearly in the know here! (if you would like to see Peter's rendition of WWII click here! http://funnyexam.com/answers/popular/1648-lol-the-teacher-comment-o)
So after seeing "Peter" take a stab at Walt Whitman I was shocked to see "Peter" take to the keys for another informative essay. This time on Christopher Columbus. This go round "Peter" take time out of his busy day to tell us all about how Christopher Columbus, a famous explorer took to the seas with his three trust mates, "Maria, Santa Maria, and Tupac". "Peter" then goes on to describe Columbus' discovery of the "New world" including interesting details of the excursion including "their radio broke after a fierce storm" and how they lost Tupac "within in 10 minutes" of finding civilization, which evidently turned out to be "dumb uncivilized intelligent apes". I would also like to add in that the marker does add-in in bold red writing "not again...". "Peter" had striked previously making be believe that these two "Peter's" might just be the same one.......(read this Peter's Columbus essay here: http://funnyexam.com/answers/popular/1622-lol-2nd-line-not-again)
Our next "Peter" entry takes away from the literary world and puts us into the middle of mathematics. Literally. The next "Peter" paper takes us to math class where "Peter" is asked to "expand (a+b)to the Nth".....so he does...much like this... = (a+b)n =(a + b)n = (a + b)n...and well you get the point. This answer received a small "oh peter" comment.(see "Peter's" stellar math skills here: http://funnyexam.com/answers/popular/1634-oh-peter-xd-you-re-doing).
After extensive research (all done while avoiding research I should have done for school and not been wasting my time) I have come to the conclusion, that even if by some stroke of pure luck that all of these different Peter's are the exact same one (which I think at least two of them are) I have started to wonder if perhaps there is something about the name Peter that makes a kid be a smart ass. And not in a good way. Regardless....even though I do not plan to parent offspring, should that ever change, I sure as heck won't be naming them Peter.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Oh to be healthy again
These past few days have been a crazy ride for me. This weekend I took to the high seas (I took the ferry) to travel far and wide (2 hours out of my way including the ferry to Vancouver) to take part of a training clinic for skating.
I'm currently enrolled in one class where you are basically forced to make time to go to the lab outside of the actual lab time, like about 4-6 hours, which I usually do on weekends. So going to Vancouver to take part of this clinic was going to be tricky, and I basically had the joy of cramming it all in to three hours on Friday before grabbing the ferry.
So when I woke up Friday morning, I was unpleased to discover that I had become infected with a virus that rendered my nasal cavities useless against their forces, turning me into a dripping, sniffling, clogged ear-ed mess. Sharing a hotel room, and having to shmooze at a clinic. I don't know if I've mentioned this before (stupid deleted blogs) but a lot of these skating functions are not about what you know its about who you know and you are basically forced to kiss ass to be able to get ahead. Which I understand is necessary but its not really my style. If I want to volunteer my time to help skaters out, I'm doing it because I love the sport, not because I want to hold authority over kids to make myself feel better.
So anyways, off I went feeling like crap, off to this clinic that was not terribly well run, but interesting at least. It was basically a gathering of people from all over the province, all in attempts to learn the new computer system that the association uses to judge skaters. Even better the guy who created the program was there to teach us tips and tricks to work the system better. We were also able to give him feed back on things we would like to see change at the sectional level. But mostly it seemed to me the clinic was an excuse for a bunch of the "besties" to get together on someone elses dime while the other regions forced to send people had to go and put in time. Me personally I had to go to be considered for my next promotion.
So I went, I conquered, I got my form signed. Just another box checked. But in the meantime I had a ton of homework sitting on the back burner and a whack of missed lab time to deal with. Even worse is that my cold has morphed into an infestation of my cranium of epic proportions. I am going through so much kleenex its not even funny. Kleenex and pills...ooo joyous day.
So my lab today didn't go great but at least now I can regroup for next week and try and pull my stuff together!
I'm currently enrolled in one class where you are basically forced to make time to go to the lab outside of the actual lab time, like about 4-6 hours, which I usually do on weekends. So going to Vancouver to take part of this clinic was going to be tricky, and I basically had the joy of cramming it all in to three hours on Friday before grabbing the ferry.
So when I woke up Friday morning, I was unpleased to discover that I had become infected with a virus that rendered my nasal cavities useless against their forces, turning me into a dripping, sniffling, clogged ear-ed mess. Sharing a hotel room, and having to shmooze at a clinic. I don't know if I've mentioned this before (stupid deleted blogs) but a lot of these skating functions are not about what you know its about who you know and you are basically forced to kiss ass to be able to get ahead. Which I understand is necessary but its not really my style. If I want to volunteer my time to help skaters out, I'm doing it because I love the sport, not because I want to hold authority over kids to make myself feel better.
So anyways, off I went feeling like crap, off to this clinic that was not terribly well run, but interesting at least. It was basically a gathering of people from all over the province, all in attempts to learn the new computer system that the association uses to judge skaters. Even better the guy who created the program was there to teach us tips and tricks to work the system better. We were also able to give him feed back on things we would like to see change at the sectional level. But mostly it seemed to me the clinic was an excuse for a bunch of the "besties" to get together on someone elses dime while the other regions forced to send people had to go and put in time. Me personally I had to go to be considered for my next promotion.
So I went, I conquered, I got my form signed. Just another box checked. But in the meantime I had a ton of homework sitting on the back burner and a whack of missed lab time to deal with. Even worse is that my cold has morphed into an infestation of my cranium of epic proportions. I am going through so much kleenex its not even funny. Kleenex and pills...ooo joyous day.
So my lab today didn't go great but at least now I can regroup for next week and try and pull my stuff together!
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Reality TV on trial
I am a child of the Much Music Era. I watched a lot of Much Music (IE MTV when they actually played music videos, but the Canadian channel) growing up. Music still to this day is still a huge part of my life. So as I got older, and Much Music started to morph from "music videos and live concerts" all the time to "music sometimes but movies and popular teen culture shows" to "crappy reality TV and music only at the times of the day we would usually play infomercials" I followed the various stages of it, and eventually gave up. I only watch MM when I have to get up early in the morning and iron my clothes for work (as I'm not working you can imagine its been a while....).
But! Long before I gave up on the horrible TV MM plays now, I used to watch things like Fromage Fest. Every year around Christmas/New Years, there would be a count down of the worst videos of the year, hosted by Ed the Sock. Ed the Sock would count down or nominate the cheesiest videos and of course critique them as he went. And yes we are talking about a sock puppet.
So Ed the Sock's Fromage Fest was pretty much one of my favorite parts of the holiday season TV festivities, as of course I could not enjoy his witty commentary more. However! As with most things all good things do come to an end and Fromage Fest ended with what I'm guessing was the retirement of Ed the Sock. Sad but true. The first Christmas there was no Fromage I was very sad indeed. For your entertainment I have added a youtube clip to fully grasp the awesomeness.
But as MM morphed into more shows about music and pop culture and less about the actual music, MM did a re-hash of Fromage Fest, in the form of a real gem called "Video on Trial". This is basically where a bunch of comedians get together and trash a bunch of music videos. And trust me they deserve it. They take the worst of the worst and man do they slaughter it.
The best part of video on trial is that at the end they sentence the accused. The sentences are the best because they say things like "Justin Bieber - No video games for a week!" or something like "I sentence you to a week of dealing with your issues!", "Miley Cyrus - My hips like yea, but my heads like...you're shit!". Soo hilarious to watch. While the commentary isn't as colourful as Ed the Sock's nor is it as directed at the person and their crappy video, it suffices for musical entertainment without there really being any music.
What brings this all up you might ask? Well today whilst doing my typical "searching the gossip blogs instead of studying" I ran into a bunch of blog posts where basically all they could seem to do was rant and rave on and on about all these Reality TV "Celebrities". Who got fired from "Real Housewives" and what "The Situation" is doing (or more specifically who he's doing). Apparently Kate Gosselin is having a mental breakdown because she's no longer able to spew abuse at her ex husband and kids while on film. There's apparently a Top Model based on all the people who had previously been on Top Model. Survivor South Pacific. The list just goes on and on and ON. Why do we watch this crap?
I get the allure of things like Project Runway, or The Biggest Loser or even Dancing with the Stars. But things like The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills???? Why do people watch crap like that? Its just about these women who get to show off that they live a life of disgusting excess, while they prance around doing what? Hosting charity balls, not because they really care, but because it looks good?
The Jersey shore? We get to watch these people make total idiots of themselves, while being ridiculously insensitive to other cultures or other people they come into contact with. I mean who really wants to watch Snooki bitch and moan and go through guys? Now I have actually never sat down and seen an episode or Jersey Shore. I don't really intend to. The commercials are enough. Some with the Real Houseives. All I see are commercials and I can't stand them.
Now while I am probably going to sound like a total hypocrite because I have been known to watch things like Toddlers and Tiaras, mostly because I think its like a car accident you can't look away from, but I spend the entire time saying things like "how can parents do this to their kids?", at most other shows I say things like "Who the hell would do this to themselves????".
So while browsing the blogs and getting so sick of not being able to hear quality gossip (I know I know poor me), I think that they should do a "Reality TV Show on Trial". We should make them accountable for their BS and give them verdicts. A few of mine?
Kate Gosselin? I sentence you to 10 years of having Jon boss you around, in total treat people how you wish to be treated style. You can work a full time job and come home to 8 kids and a husband who does nothing but beat you down.
Jersey Shore Cast? I sentence you to one year without tanning beds, and mandatory post secondary education. Start with math. One hive plus one snooki = PAINFUL TV
"Real" Housewives? I sentence you to one year (or at least one season) of no assistants, butlers, house cleaners or personal shoppers. See how ACTUAL housewives do it. Oh and no Mani/Pedis....just because I say so.
So thats where I shall leave things. I have said my peace about reality TV, and I know that it will have made absolutely no difference at all. People will still watch this crap and I will still go on to think of new and interesting ways they should be punished. Oh well I guess they have to make a living too? And these are certainly not the people I want attending to me while I'm the hospital, or serving me food, or attempting to teach the youth of tomorrow...so thank goodness for their stupidity?
So Ed the Sock's Fromage Fest was pretty much one of my favorite parts of the holiday season TV festivities, as of course I could not enjoy his witty commentary more. However! As with most things all good things do come to an end and Fromage Fest ended with what I'm guessing was the retirement of Ed the Sock. Sad but true. The first Christmas there was no Fromage I was very sad indeed. For your entertainment I have added a youtube clip to fully grasp the awesomeness.
What brings this all up you might ask? Well today whilst doing my typical "searching the gossip blogs instead of studying" I ran into a bunch of blog posts where basically all they could seem to do was rant and rave on and on about all these Reality TV "Celebrities". Who got fired from "Real Housewives" and what "The Situation" is doing (or more specifically who he's doing). Apparently Kate Gosselin is having a mental breakdown because she's no longer able to spew abuse at her ex husband and kids while on film. There's apparently a Top Model based on all the people who had previously been on Top Model. Survivor South Pacific. The list just goes on and on and ON. Why do we watch this crap?
I get the allure of things like Project Runway, or The Biggest Loser or even Dancing with the Stars. But things like The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills???? Why do people watch crap like that? Its just about these women who get to show off that they live a life of disgusting excess, while they prance around doing what? Hosting charity balls, not because they really care, but because it looks good?
The Jersey shore? We get to watch these people make total idiots of themselves, while being ridiculously insensitive to other cultures or other people they come into contact with. I mean who really wants to watch Snooki bitch and moan and go through guys? Now I have actually never sat down and seen an episode or Jersey Shore. I don't really intend to. The commercials are enough. Some with the Real Houseives. All I see are commercials and I can't stand them.
Now while I am probably going to sound like a total hypocrite because I have been known to watch things like Toddlers and Tiaras, mostly because I think its like a car accident you can't look away from, but I spend the entire time saying things like "how can parents do this to their kids?", at most other shows I say things like "Who the hell would do this to themselves????".
So while browsing the blogs and getting so sick of not being able to hear quality gossip (I know I know poor me), I think that they should do a "Reality TV Show on Trial". We should make them accountable for their BS and give them verdicts. A few of mine?
Kate Gosselin? I sentence you to 10 years of having Jon boss you around, in total treat people how you wish to be treated style. You can work a full time job and come home to 8 kids and a husband who does nothing but beat you down.
Jersey Shore Cast? I sentence you to one year without tanning beds, and mandatory post secondary education. Start with math. One hive plus one snooki = PAINFUL TV
"Real" Housewives? I sentence you to one year (or at least one season) of no assistants, butlers, house cleaners or personal shoppers. See how ACTUAL housewives do it. Oh and no Mani/Pedis....just because I say so.
So thats where I shall leave things. I have said my peace about reality TV, and I know that it will have made absolutely no difference at all. People will still watch this crap and I will still go on to think of new and interesting ways they should be punished. Oh well I guess they have to make a living too? And these are certainly not the people I want attending to me while I'm the hospital, or serving me food, or attempting to teach the youth of tomorrow...so thank goodness for their stupidity?
Monday, September 19, 2011
Theory Time
Lately I've been doing a lot of things I shouldn't be. Things like watching TV when I should be studying. Slacking when I should be doing laundry, letting the dishes pile up when I should wash them. Its been a lazy could of weeks but this whole getting back into school thing has kind of just thrown me for a loop. I can't seem to get my footing. Even now I should be studying but here I am watching Drop Dead Diva repeats writing a blog post. Sigh.
Lately I've been reading a lot of books (not school related of course) and watching a lot of TV. I've also been reading a lot of blogs and if there is anything that the blogs seem to have in common its the fact that there are a lot of ladies out there that are having trouble with the fellas. Now while I haven't been out and about spewing my heart out about my last failed relationship and about how lonely I am right now, I'm going through it too. Aren't we all always healing from something?
So here is my two cents to put out in the universe about men, in hopes that maybe one of my fellow ladies scorned will stumble across it and find it useful or at least find it humorous.
I have a theory about men. Never date a man who wears and combination of the following things: cheap, shitty, worn out, poorly maintained, overly pointy shoes.
NOW that is not to say to never go out with a guy who simply wears worn out shoes. Or to never date a man that wears cheap shoes. But if there is a man that wears cheap worn out shoes that have holes in them....maybe think twice. Its one thing to be financially unlucky and not be able to afford expensive footwear, and I would never EVER discriminate against that, because honestly who hasn't been there? Btut a man that just plain doesn't take care of his shoes? Means he doesn't take care of his feet. And you can bet your butt that means he would also never take care of a woman.
Think about it, shoes get stepped on ALL day. They go in puddles, they occasionally get SHIT ON. They take the wear and tear to keep the feet happy. (I think you understand what I'm getting at here).
SO if you meet a guy and his shoes look like they've been through the ringer, you can imagine he doesn't are about the little things. He just uses something till it wears down and falls to crap. This is probably how he treats more than one thing in his life.
Take as example my friend whom for the sake of this blog I shall call Fido (hes a total dog). My friend Fido wears good quality expensive shoes. But they always look like shit. Super worn down, the backs are destroyed because he jams them on his feet, they always look about two seconds away from falling to pieces. Fido cannot hold down a relationship to save his life. In fact he's professed undying love to me a couple of times (once drunk once legit) and I always shoot him down. He treats women like crap. Expects them to be on their A game all the time so that he can slack off. He's totalled cars, hes gotten kicked out of University and has a job he hates. He treats his shoes like he treats girls. Treads heavily on them till they get thrown out. And who wants to be treated like that?
There are a lot of things you can tell about men from their shoes. Cheaper brand shoes that have been cared for well? That generally means that the guy may not have a whole lot but what he has hes worked hard for and takes care of. That is good boyfriend material. Expensive shoes treated like crap? That guy doesn't have time to value anything.
So that is my friendly advice for the day. Next time you're out at a bar, or out having coffee or heck even at a bus stop and some good looking guy says hello to you and shows interest, I suggest you take a look at his shoes. Its tough out there and any indicators we can use to ward off the goobers are worth a try!
Lately I've been reading a lot of books (not school related of course) and watching a lot of TV. I've also been reading a lot of blogs and if there is anything that the blogs seem to have in common its the fact that there are a lot of ladies out there that are having trouble with the fellas. Now while I haven't been out and about spewing my heart out about my last failed relationship and about how lonely I am right now, I'm going through it too. Aren't we all always healing from something?
So here is my two cents to put out in the universe about men, in hopes that maybe one of my fellow ladies scorned will stumble across it and find it useful or at least find it humorous.
I have a theory about men. Never date a man who wears and combination of the following things: cheap, shitty, worn out, poorly maintained, overly pointy shoes.
NOW that is not to say to never go out with a guy who simply wears worn out shoes. Or to never date a man that wears cheap shoes. But if there is a man that wears cheap worn out shoes that have holes in them....maybe think twice. Its one thing to be financially unlucky and not be able to afford expensive footwear, and I would never EVER discriminate against that, because honestly who hasn't been there? Btut a man that just plain doesn't take care of his shoes? Means he doesn't take care of his feet. And you can bet your butt that means he would also never take care of a woman.
Think about it, shoes get stepped on ALL day. They go in puddles, they occasionally get SHIT ON. They take the wear and tear to keep the feet happy. (I think you understand what I'm getting at here).
SO if you meet a guy and his shoes look like they've been through the ringer, you can imagine he doesn't are about the little things. He just uses something till it wears down and falls to crap. This is probably how he treats more than one thing in his life.
Take as example my friend whom for the sake of this blog I shall call Fido (hes a total dog). My friend Fido wears good quality expensive shoes. But they always look like shit. Super worn down, the backs are destroyed because he jams them on his feet, they always look about two seconds away from falling to pieces. Fido cannot hold down a relationship to save his life. In fact he's professed undying love to me a couple of times (once drunk once legit) and I always shoot him down. He treats women like crap. Expects them to be on their A game all the time so that he can slack off. He's totalled cars, hes gotten kicked out of University and has a job he hates. He treats his shoes like he treats girls. Treads heavily on them till they get thrown out. And who wants to be treated like that?
There are a lot of things you can tell about men from their shoes. Cheaper brand shoes that have been cared for well? That generally means that the guy may not have a whole lot but what he has hes worked hard for and takes care of. That is good boyfriend material. Expensive shoes treated like crap? That guy doesn't have time to value anything.
So that is my friendly advice for the day. Next time you're out at a bar, or out having coffee or heck even at a bus stop and some good looking guy says hello to you and shows interest, I suggest you take a look at his shoes. Its tough out there and any indicators we can use to ward off the goobers are worth a try!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
22 years and I still have to wear a helmet
My bff T and I have been talking about getting my niece (who I call Squirt), into skating lessons. For anyone paying even the tiniest bit of attention, this is all me pushing her into lessons. This child will learn how to skate, she will stay active, and if she ends up hating it after a couple of lessons, she can quit. Well...she can quit provided she knows enough to skate on her own around the rink. Then she can quit.
Growing up in my house, we all had to learn how to skate. ALL of us. Mom and Dad both skated, my sisters and I all skated, it was just something my family did. We all then stayed pretty heavily involved in skating. We all competed together and we all travelled together, my mom club president and now still a member, me a exec member, and knee deep involved with skating competitions. You get the picture.
Skating has given me so much. Growing up with skating, I learned to be responsible in organizing my time between school and skating, learning to time manage. I learned how to fight for something I wanted, learned passion and determination to follow by goals. I learned interpersonal skills and how to deal with just about anyone, even more importantly I learned to network with people.
I met people, made friends and formed a new family that I still today know I can call on to help me out, and they would do it, just like I would do for them. Skating has given me all this and so much much more. Not only that but when I went skating as a kid, I always stayed up on the ice and could do circles around the other kids. Always fun.
This is why I want Squirt to skate. I want her to have that same thing. I want her to incorporate sports into her life so that she will always be healthy and fit, and learn the importance of getting out there in the world. Being able to have goals and strive for things, to show drive and passion for something is so important to me that I want it so desperately for her. So I'm the one pushing the skating because its all I know. If I was a better swimmer I would encourage her to swim, but my idea of swimming is sitting my butt on a tube with a tasty beverage. I know whats available out there in the skating world for her. So I want her to skate. I want her to love it like I love it. I want her to get something more than just better health out of it, and be able to use it to relate to her life.
BUT I am not stupid. If she hates it, she's allowed to quit (as I said after she can skate on her own...still good to know how to skate in case of class trips). I won't be heart broken if it doesn't work out. But that doesn't mean she's allowed to sit on her butt. If skating isn't her thing, then maybe she will swim! Maybe she'll play soccer! Maybe gymnastics! Maybe Rugby! Maybe baseball! Rock climbing! Snowboarding! Track and field! Volleyball! Basketball! Field Hockey! Hockey (cringe......but it would be fine)!
There are so many options and I know its crazy to think that she'll want to skate, but thats where we'll start. That ALL being said it leads me to my current predicament. If I want Squirt to skate I had to do the research. Fine no sweat! This should be easy! I am on an executive she will join my club and that will just be that. Well, turns out that my skating club doesn't actually offer a Canskate time that either of us could get her to. And there are a couple of times when I know that we can't get her the rink for lessons. SO I didn't really want to pay the huge money to put her in a club where the timing sucks and its super pricey. Also I don't have any desire to teach skating for my skating club anymore. I have been kicked by kids in skates one too many times thank you very much. Squirt doesn't kick me because she knows better....and if she did I could discipline her (but to this day she has never even tried it so as I said no problemo).
SO I caved and started looking into Recreation Center Programs. WAY CHEAPER. Like HOLY CRAP. For 40$ I get 7 30 minute sessions of instruction where I can go on the ice with Squirt, play with all sorts of toys etc, and then leave without having to fundraise or volunteer for the club, and no one is going to ask me to join yet another executive. THIS IS BRILLIANT!!!!!!!
This way if she doesn't want to keep skating, no problemo! If she does I put her into more lessons till she can go into Juniors or Canskate Advanced etc. Awesome sign us up!
The perdicament? Well I am 25 years old. I have been skating since I was about 2ish/3yrs old. Thats 22 years of skating experience. I have been skating long enough to be a person who drinks in all countries of the world. I have reached the highest levels of tests in almost all aspects of the sport, know how the judging system works and know how to run marks. In other words, not to too my own freaking horn but there isn't much about this sport that I don't know.
When I called a bunch of different rec centers today to inquire about lessons, they all said the same thing. Both tot AND PARENT must wear a helmet. I have to wear a HELMET. I have 22 years of skating experience and I have to wear a helmet. For the first time in 20 years I have to wear a helmet on the ice. I don't even own a helmet. And I have to wear one to get Squirt on the ice. Fail.
Tomorrow I have to go buy a helmet. Well..I need to buy one before Saturday. Bob Saget.
Growing up in my house, we all had to learn how to skate. ALL of us. Mom and Dad both skated, my sisters and I all skated, it was just something my family did. We all then stayed pretty heavily involved in skating. We all competed together and we all travelled together, my mom club president and now still a member, me a exec member, and knee deep involved with skating competitions. You get the picture.
Skating has given me so much. Growing up with skating, I learned to be responsible in organizing my time between school and skating, learning to time manage. I learned how to fight for something I wanted, learned passion and determination to follow by goals. I learned interpersonal skills and how to deal with just about anyone, even more importantly I learned to network with people.
I met people, made friends and formed a new family that I still today know I can call on to help me out, and they would do it, just like I would do for them. Skating has given me all this and so much much more. Not only that but when I went skating as a kid, I always stayed up on the ice and could do circles around the other kids. Always fun.
This is why I want Squirt to skate. I want her to have that same thing. I want her to incorporate sports into her life so that she will always be healthy and fit, and learn the importance of getting out there in the world. Being able to have goals and strive for things, to show drive and passion for something is so important to me that I want it so desperately for her. So I'm the one pushing the skating because its all I know. If I was a better swimmer I would encourage her to swim, but my idea of swimming is sitting my butt on a tube with a tasty beverage. I know whats available out there in the skating world for her. So I want her to skate. I want her to love it like I love it. I want her to get something more than just better health out of it, and be able to use it to relate to her life.
BUT I am not stupid. If she hates it, she's allowed to quit (as I said after she can skate on her own...still good to know how to skate in case of class trips). I won't be heart broken if it doesn't work out. But that doesn't mean she's allowed to sit on her butt. If skating isn't her thing, then maybe she will swim! Maybe she'll play soccer! Maybe gymnastics! Maybe Rugby! Maybe baseball! Rock climbing! Snowboarding! Track and field! Volleyball! Basketball! Field Hockey! Hockey (cringe......but it would be fine)!
There are so many options and I know its crazy to think that she'll want to skate, but thats where we'll start. That ALL being said it leads me to my current predicament. If I want Squirt to skate I had to do the research. Fine no sweat! This should be easy! I am on an executive she will join my club and that will just be that. Well, turns out that my skating club doesn't actually offer a Canskate time that either of us could get her to. And there are a couple of times when I know that we can't get her the rink for lessons. SO I didn't really want to pay the huge money to put her in a club where the timing sucks and its super pricey. Also I don't have any desire to teach skating for my skating club anymore. I have been kicked by kids in skates one too many times thank you very much. Squirt doesn't kick me because she knows better....and if she did I could discipline her (but to this day she has never even tried it so as I said no problemo).
SO I caved and started looking into Recreation Center Programs. WAY CHEAPER. Like HOLY CRAP. For 40$ I get 7 30 minute sessions of instruction where I can go on the ice with Squirt, play with all sorts of toys etc, and then leave without having to fundraise or volunteer for the club, and no one is going to ask me to join yet another executive. THIS IS BRILLIANT!!!!!!!
This way if she doesn't want to keep skating, no problemo! If she does I put her into more lessons till she can go into Juniors or Canskate Advanced etc. Awesome sign us up!
The perdicament? Well I am 25 years old. I have been skating since I was about 2ish/3yrs old. Thats 22 years of skating experience. I have been skating long enough to be a person who drinks in all countries of the world. I have reached the highest levels of tests in almost all aspects of the sport, know how the judging system works and know how to run marks. In other words, not to too my own freaking horn but there isn't much about this sport that I don't know.
When I called a bunch of different rec centers today to inquire about lessons, they all said the same thing. Both tot AND PARENT must wear a helmet. I have to wear a HELMET. I have 22 years of skating experience and I have to wear a helmet. For the first time in 20 years I have to wear a helmet on the ice. I don't even own a helmet. And I have to wear one to get Squirt on the ice. Fail.
Tomorrow I have to go buy a helmet. Well..I need to buy one before Saturday. Bob Saget.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
BOB SAGET
So. Whilst toodling around this great province and awesome coast that I live on this past summer, I travelled with my sister and her son Cadet (not his name just something he does) and our nephew EastCoast (where he was born). While trapsing around Jasper National Park blindly (because my sister decided it would be super awesome to step on my glasses like two days in to the vacation....) EastCoast got be a bit addicted to saying (ok more like shouting) BOB SAGET in stead of "god damn it".
In fact once I caught on to saying it, every time I would bust a "BOB SAGET" EastCoast would pipe up and say "there you go"....just to simplify things this is what would happen:
Me:(splutter, get frustrated by blindness and be annoyed, splutter some more then take huge breath): BOB SAGET
EastCoast (from behind a tree or during his wood chopping would pipe up): There you go.
I digress. So here I am thinking "time to write a blog post" so that I'm not just sitting on my ass while watching the finale of America's Got Talent, because I am still outrageously behind on my class readings and probably should be dedicating more time to that than watching TV. I started a post and was wondering what I had digressed into yesterday about how totally shitty my day was yesterday (yes I was going to bitch again....so shoot me, my blog my rules) and I thought "huh look at all these drafts man I should really delete all of them and clean up this inbox!" Go me! Right? No.
So instead of being observant and smart I selected the "all" box button and I ended up deleting a whole whack of EVERYTHING. I deleted everything for the past like what two months? At this point I spluttered and gasped that there was no "oppsie I'm a moron button" and gasped BOB SAGET.
SO BOB SAGET I DELETED A BUNCH OF MY POSTS. Those take time BOB SAGET and they take observation and BOB SAGET there was some good complaining in those posts! Some awesome stress relieving, people bashing, selfish moments and BOB SAGET its like I just deleted part of myself!!!! BOB SAGET I'm a MORON. (but at least have made up for some of the bitching and stress relief)
After I deleted them and was flicking through the posts that survived "moronic deletion 2011" I realized what I mostly deleted (mostly...still a bit bitter over my stupidity) was all the posts I made in the past month or so when I was really at a low point in my life. I had just gotten out of this terrible relationship with someone who was so vitally interwoven into my life that I was left almost a shell of a person trying to figure what the hell happened. I wasn't friends with either of my almost life long friends that means I lost a whole whack of support and while I still have T, I realized that I was really starting to shed some emotional baggage that had been weighing on my heavily. At its taken me a long time to realize that everything happens for a reason.
And I really think there was some sort of force of nature that told me "go be a moron and delete that crap because the BS stops now. YOU need to get your ASS TOGETHER and quit BITCHING and get R done". Because that is exactly what I woke up feeling this morning (and by waking up I mean after my first class was over and I finally got a freaking cup a coffee in me, as far as I'm concerned anything before that doesn't count).
So while I realize that deleting a few blog posts that basically no one read anyways may not seem like a big deal, it really happened for the best. So next time something goes wrong for you and you think "BOB SAGET how could I have been so stupid???" (and trust me now that you have a better way to express annoyance in a more PG and more importantly humorous way, you will) just take a breath and remember that everything happens for a reason. And while it never really presents itself right away you will find something good in it. Just breath.
In fact once I caught on to saying it, every time I would bust a "BOB SAGET" EastCoast would pipe up and say "there you go"....just to simplify things this is what would happen:
Me:(splutter, get frustrated by blindness and be annoyed, splutter some more then take huge breath): BOB SAGET
EastCoast (from behind a tree or during his wood chopping would pipe up): There you go.
I digress. So here I am thinking "time to write a blog post" so that I'm not just sitting on my ass while watching the finale of America's Got Talent, because I am still outrageously behind on my class readings and probably should be dedicating more time to that than watching TV. I started a post and was wondering what I had digressed into yesterday about how totally shitty my day was yesterday (yes I was going to bitch again....so shoot me, my blog my rules) and I thought "huh look at all these drafts man I should really delete all of them and clean up this inbox!" Go me! Right? No.
So instead of being observant and smart I selected the "all" box button and I ended up deleting a whole whack of EVERYTHING. I deleted everything for the past like what two months? At this point I spluttered and gasped that there was no "oppsie I'm a moron button" and gasped BOB SAGET.
SO BOB SAGET I DELETED A BUNCH OF MY POSTS. Those take time BOB SAGET and they take observation and BOB SAGET there was some good complaining in those posts! Some awesome stress relieving, people bashing, selfish moments and BOB SAGET its like I just deleted part of myself!!!! BOB SAGET I'm a MORON. (but at least have made up for some of the bitching and stress relief)
After I deleted them and was flicking through the posts that survived "moronic deletion 2011" I realized what I mostly deleted (mostly...still a bit bitter over my stupidity) was all the posts I made in the past month or so when I was really at a low point in my life. I had just gotten out of this terrible relationship with someone who was so vitally interwoven into my life that I was left almost a shell of a person trying to figure what the hell happened. I wasn't friends with either of my almost life long friends that means I lost a whole whack of support and while I still have T, I realized that I was really starting to shed some emotional baggage that had been weighing on my heavily. At its taken me a long time to realize that everything happens for a reason.
And I really think there was some sort of force of nature that told me "go be a moron and delete that crap because the BS stops now. YOU need to get your ASS TOGETHER and quit BITCHING and get R done". Because that is exactly what I woke up feeling this morning (and by waking up I mean after my first class was over and I finally got a freaking cup a coffee in me, as far as I'm concerned anything before that doesn't count).
So while I realize that deleting a few blog posts that basically no one read anyways may not seem like a big deal, it really happened for the best. So next time something goes wrong for you and you think "BOB SAGET how could I have been so stupid???" (and trust me now that you have a better way to express annoyance in a more PG and more importantly humorous way, you will) just take a breath and remember that everything happens for a reason. And while it never really presents itself right away you will find something good in it. Just breath.
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