Reality TV on trial

I am a child of the Much Music Era. I watched a lot of Much Music (IE MTV when they actually played music videos, but the Canadian channel) growing up. Music still to this day is still a huge part of my life. So as I got older, and Much Music started to morph from "music videos and live concerts" all the time to "music sometimes but movies and popular teen culture shows" to "crappy reality TV and music only at the times of the day we would usually play infomercials" I followed the various stages of it, and eventually gave up. I only watch MM when I have to get up early in the morning and iron my clothes for work (as I'm not working you can imagine its been a while....).

But! Long before I gave up on the horrible TV MM plays now, I used to watch things like Fromage Fest. Every year around Christmas/New Years, there would be a count down of the worst videos of the year, hosted by Ed the Sock. Ed the Sock would count down or nominate the cheesiest videos and of course critique them as he went. And yes we are talking about a sock puppet.

So Ed the Sock's Fromage Fest was pretty much one of my favorite parts of the holiday season TV festivities, as of course I could not enjoy his witty commentary more. However! As with most things all good things do come to an end and Fromage Fest ended with what I'm guessing was the retirement of Ed the Sock. Sad but true. The first Christmas there was no Fromage I was very sad indeed. For your entertainment I have added a youtube clip to fully grasp the awesomeness.

But as MM morphed into more shows about music and pop culture and less about the actual music, MM did a re-hash of Fromage Fest, in the form of a real gem called "Video on Trial". This is basically where a bunch of comedians get together and trash a bunch of music videos. And trust me they deserve it. They take the worst of the worst and man do they slaughter it.

The best part of video on trial is that at the end they sentence the accused. The sentences are the best because they say things like "Justin Bieber - No video games for a week!" or something like "I sentence you to a week of dealing with your issues!", "Miley Cyrus -  My hips like yea, but my heads like...you're shit!". Soo hilarious to watch. While the commentary isn't as colourful as Ed the Sock's nor is it as directed at the person and their crappy video, it suffices for musical entertainment without there really being any music.

What brings this all up you might ask? Well today whilst doing my typical "searching the gossip blogs instead of studying" I ran into a bunch of blog posts where basically all they could seem to do was rant and rave on and on about all these Reality TV "Celebrities". Who got fired from "Real Housewives" and what "The Situation" is doing (or more specifically who he's doing). Apparently Kate Gosselin is having a mental breakdown because she's no longer able to spew abuse at her ex husband and kids while on film. There's apparently a Top Model based on all the people who had previously been on Top Model. Survivor South Pacific. The list just goes on and on and ON. Why do we watch this crap?

I get the allure of things like Project Runway, or The Biggest Loser or even Dancing with the Stars. But things like The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills???? Why do people watch crap like that? Its just about these women who get to show off that they live a life of disgusting excess, while they prance around doing what? Hosting charity balls, not because they really care, but because it looks good?

The Jersey shore? We get to watch these people make total idiots of themselves, while being ridiculously insensitive to other cultures or other people they come into contact with. I mean who really wants to watch Snooki bitch and moan and go through guys? Now I have actually never sat down and seen an episode or Jersey Shore. I don't really intend to. The commercials are enough. Some with the Real Houseives. All I see are commercials and I can't stand them.

Now while I am probably going to sound like a total hypocrite because I have been known to watch things like Toddlers and Tiaras, mostly because I think its like a car accident you can't look away from, but I spend the entire time saying things like "how can parents do this to their kids?", at most other shows I say things like "Who the hell would do this to themselves????".

So while browsing the blogs and getting so sick of not being able to hear quality gossip (I know I know poor me), I think that they should do a "Reality TV Show on Trial". We should make them accountable for their BS and give them verdicts. A few of mine?

Kate Gosselin? I sentence you to 10 years of having Jon boss you around, in total treat people how you wish to be treated style. You can work a full time job and come home to 8 kids and a husband who does nothing but beat you down.

Jersey Shore Cast? I sentence you to one year without tanning beds, and mandatory post secondary education. Start with math. One hive plus one snooki =  PAINFUL TV

"Real" Housewives? I sentence you to one year (or at least one season) of no assistants, butlers, house cleaners or personal shoppers. See how ACTUAL housewives do it. Oh and no Mani/Pedis....just because I say so.

So thats where I shall leave things. I have said my peace about reality TV, and I know that it will have made absolutely no difference at all. People will still watch this crap and I will still go on to think of new and interesting ways they should be punished. Oh well I guess they have to make a living too? And these are certainly not the people I want attending to me while I'm the hospital, or serving me food, or attempting to teach the youth of tomorrow...so thank goodness for their stupidity?