Historically I haven't had the best of relationships with my mother. Growing up my family situation was a bit different than most. I had a family whose life revolved around skating. If it was happening in an ice rink we were concerned with it, and it was just expected that we all do our part to survive the ice. Including skating for my evil dictator sisters synchronized skating team, during my senior year of high school, while preparing for finals and university admissions, while also trying to complete my own singles skating aspirations. Which I then kind of bailed on. Because she was making my life miserable at the rink and at home. Regardless...my drama with her is another story for another day.
So when I decided to stop putting up with the skating drama and was no longer in high school in need of my mother to sign permission slips for me, we basically stopped having anything in common, other than her signing my tuition checks and me being that illusive kid that occasionally showed up for dinner between classes. Not only was I no longer a team player, but I was also the science major who studied microbes and plated slime during the day. Everyone else in my family works administrative jobs and daily on a farm while I was doing something none of them every really payed much attention to or thinks is science fiction.
Needless to say my mom and I ran out of things to talk about a long time ago. With little to nothing in common after being in skating for so long, we ran out of things in common. And over the years with school ending and me being on my own in the work force the rare moments we talk are usually her about their latest and greatest trip, or how I can't really stand my job, but do it because the money is so much better. Not great moments of connection.
Which is why when in the car driving to pick up pizza the other night, I got a bit of a shell shocker. While in the car the other night driving my mom and I were discussing a family friend that has the inability to do things they want to do and just follows the flow of what everyone else wants. I don't really recall how it all came out but the idea that following the crowd isn't brave. I also mentioned that I guess me going to Europe might not be the most correageous thing to do as I have known so many people who have done it but at least I'm making the move to go. My mom then interjects that it was brave for me to book it and go by myself.
This was huge. My mom has never really supported anything I wanted to do. She never really supported my degree and still continues to question whether or not I'm ever going to use it. She always wanted me to skate for my sisters team again but I refused. She blew a fuse when I left for Christmas to dash off to New York instead of staying with the family. For her to say that I'm brave. Thats big.
But thats just the thing. The trip I'm going on is huge. Its the first time I've ever done what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. Its the first time I'm doing something completely by myself and I'm doing on a vacation. And to be honest I'm not even really thinking much about it. I'm most surprised about the fact that my mother finally thinks that I'm brave enough to do it :)
Happy Sunday Folks!
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Another day another dollar....one day 59$?
There was a bit of a lull in posts during my holidays but here is the gist. I got laid off my crap telemarketer job because the program we were calling to get people to take part in ran out of money. Now I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth. I hated that job with an extreme passion and felt horrible for staying in it for the cash. So when the easy out finally came and the fear of being broke struck, I did whatever I could to find a new job. I emailed both of the temp agencies and within 3 days I was the newest receptionist for an eye doctors office that is owned by friend of family friend, as well as someone very connected to the skating community I participate in. Yup you guessed it, while qualified they mainly hired me based on my references and reputation in the skating community. Which apparently was a lot better than I thought lol.
So thus started the optometrists receptionists diaries....also known as "how many ways can I screw up booking an eye appointment or ordering contact lenses in a day" diaries with each day being a new entry in the book with a new and unusual way of messing up. Trust me if there was a mistake to be made, a question to be asked incorrectly or even forgotten, or a way to botch talking to someone in any way I did it. Regardless of the fact that everyone said I fit right in, and that I was doing a great job, I constantly felt like my learning curve was a negative parabola. The harder I tried the more depressing the curve. And the real kicker...the fact that it was the lowest paid job I've ever taken, and yet the job in which I worked the hardest to improve in. Twas obnoxious.
So when a casual position with the department of national defence became available, I really had a conundrum on my hands. Loved the atmosphere of my old job, loved my coworkers, sucked at the actual job, and hated the fact that a 37.5 hour work week where pay cheques were never really more than 350 a week. Getting paid 10 bucks an hour for working my ass off, during ever changing hours and long ass days....is really hard esp when at the end of the week you can't even really afford to enjoy your weeks labours is rough. So I took the job with the base.
But so it turns out that during my short albeit stressful time I managed to get a parking ticket. For parking in a spot that was not designated for staff. Because all the staff spots were taken by freaking shoppers. Regardless of the fact that I had my parking pass displayed. And the ticket said that I was just over the limit.
So while I have strong arguments as to why I never should have gotten the bloody ticket, I'm most choked that they new I was an employee of the complex, and if they had looked around they would have seen that all the bloody staff spots were full, and yet they still felt it necessary to fine me 59.00 DOLLARS. Which for the record is about the same as what I would make in a day.
Well BEANS TO YOU BUGGERS. AND YOUR SHOTY TICKETING PRACTiCES!!! You know for weeks I had to bus and walk and bum rides because they had a no parking policy yet others in the complex totally ignored them. I always parked between others with passes, and even brought more shoppers to the freaking complex!!! YOU JERKS!!!! Well suck on this jerk faces!!! In my new job in three days I made more than I would have made in a week at the optometrist's. Not only that but now I don't shop at any of your other institutions which means that all your patrons suffer!! I hope you're happy you jerks!! I fully plan to bad mouth you every chance I get....except not by name. Because thats a breach of my contract....and would get me fined...and I'll be darned if you're getting another one of my days wages!!!!
So there you have it. Where I went, why I switched jobs...and why I am not 59.00 poorer....and why I now work at DND. Where the parking is free.
So thus started the optometrists receptionists diaries....also known as "how many ways can I screw up booking an eye appointment or ordering contact lenses in a day" diaries with each day being a new entry in the book with a new and unusual way of messing up. Trust me if there was a mistake to be made, a question to be asked incorrectly or even forgotten, or a way to botch talking to someone in any way I did it. Regardless of the fact that everyone said I fit right in, and that I was doing a great job, I constantly felt like my learning curve was a negative parabola. The harder I tried the more depressing the curve. And the real kicker...the fact that it was the lowest paid job I've ever taken, and yet the job in which I worked the hardest to improve in. Twas obnoxious.
So when a casual position with the department of national defence became available, I really had a conundrum on my hands. Loved the atmosphere of my old job, loved my coworkers, sucked at the actual job, and hated the fact that a 37.5 hour work week where pay cheques were never really more than 350 a week. Getting paid 10 bucks an hour for working my ass off, during ever changing hours and long ass days....is really hard esp when at the end of the week you can't even really afford to enjoy your weeks labours is rough. So I took the job with the base.
But so it turns out that during my short albeit stressful time I managed to get a parking ticket. For parking in a spot that was not designated for staff. Because all the staff spots were taken by freaking shoppers. Regardless of the fact that I had my parking pass displayed. And the ticket said that I was just over the limit.
So while I have strong arguments as to why I never should have gotten the bloody ticket, I'm most choked that they new I was an employee of the complex, and if they had looked around they would have seen that all the bloody staff spots were full, and yet they still felt it necessary to fine me 59.00 DOLLARS. Which for the record is about the same as what I would make in a day.
Well BEANS TO YOU BUGGERS. AND YOUR SHOTY TICKETING PRACTiCES!!! You know for weeks I had to bus and walk and bum rides because they had a no parking policy yet others in the complex totally ignored them. I always parked between others with passes, and even brought more shoppers to the freaking complex!!! YOU JERKS!!!! Well suck on this jerk faces!!! In my new job in three days I made more than I would have made in a week at the optometrist's. Not only that but now I don't shop at any of your other institutions which means that all your patrons suffer!! I hope you're happy you jerks!! I fully plan to bad mouth you every chance I get....except not by name. Because thats a breach of my contract....and would get me fined...and I'll be darned if you're getting another one of my days wages!!!!
So there you have it. Where I went, why I switched jobs...and why I am not 59.00 poorer....and why I now work at DND. Where the parking is free.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Its my Sunday, and I will laze about if I want to
Growing up I was pretty heavily involved in extra curricular activities. I was on things like grad committees, bottle drives, volunteering, working for the family business, and most heavily skating. All the way through high school I jumped from skating, to volunteering to working to sleeping. In fact there was rarely a weekend or spring break that I got a day off and once I started post secondary and cut back on working during the semester..I started to learn what a beautiful thing the weekend can really be.
Now, granted I still seem to volunteer every Sunday afternoon (not that it has been all that successful lately...that is another story for another day) I for the last few months, no longer weighed down with school studying, or weekend runs to the lab I have been enjoying not only evenings with out homework, but also this blessed thing call the lazy Sunday.
Now for anyone that knows me personally, knows that I don't tend to admit I like to be lazy. They know that I don't tend to ever let anyone know that I do watch TV, and I do like to sleep, and that I like anyone likes to read trashy magazines and books. Anyone who knows me knows that I to stay busy and be active....BUT the lazy Sunday is the exception to this rule.
This thing called the Lazy Sunday is an event so special and enjoyable that if it were to happen too often or too easily, it would not be as cherished. The Lazy Sunday is defined as the Sunday where you have nothing to do but things you want to do. There is no laundry, no cleaning, no errands. There are no obligations or require elements, no diet food and definitely no early morning showers or leg shaving. There are no dress pants and no ironing or any kind. A Lazy Sunday is all about one thing, being lazy...whatever your lazy includes. And in the spirit of this loveliest and sunniest of Laziest Sundays I am going to share with you all my favourite things to do on a Lazy Sunday
1. Sleep in
I work early all week. I start work at 7 now and finish at 3, which is great because it means I get extra day light hours to do errands etc, but it makes for pretty early mornings and pretty low key early nights. So sleeping in is a welcome treat on a Sunday. Nothing like waking up well rested and relaxed on a Lazy Sunday.
2. Get a coffee
In my house we don't make coffee. We have a family farm and for as long as I can remember, the coffee maker is at the farm and not in the house, so we never have coffee here, so growing up I never had it in the house. So on a lazy sunday it is one of my favourite things to do is go downtown to my favourite coffee place that is terribly out of the way from my normal week and grab a delicious iced coffee.
3. Used Book Store Shopping
I like any other female on this earth is genetically mapped to enjoy shopping. I like anyone else loves going shoe shopping, and trying on clothes and checking out cute earrings just as much as the next girl. That being said I am a sucker for old books. I love browsing aimlessly through the shelves of old books, once previously loved and now in need of good homes. Browsing through shelves looking for a new favourite book that is bound to provide me with an afternoon of blissful reading, while sipping my delightful iced beverage.
4. Watching Sinful TV
This might come as a shock to some, I am addicted to bad TV. I love watching TV shows in sequence, preferably shows that are trashy and have poor plot. I watch them, ogle the cute boys, envy the girls that have perfect bodies, and then never feel obligated to watch another episode.
5. Do whatever comes naturally
Lazy Sundays are no routine days, so when one suddenly comes along and you realize there are no obligations the best thing one can to is sit back, relax and wait for divine lazy sunday inspiration to find you!
Hope every one had a fantastic weekend! I'm going to go get my trashy tv on :)
Now, granted I still seem to volunteer every Sunday afternoon (not that it has been all that successful lately...that is another story for another day) I for the last few months, no longer weighed down with school studying, or weekend runs to the lab I have been enjoying not only evenings with out homework, but also this blessed thing call the lazy Sunday.
Now for anyone that knows me personally, knows that I don't tend to admit I like to be lazy. They know that I don't tend to ever let anyone know that I do watch TV, and I do like to sleep, and that I like anyone likes to read trashy magazines and books. Anyone who knows me knows that I to stay busy and be active....BUT the lazy Sunday is the exception to this rule.
This thing called the Lazy Sunday is an event so special and enjoyable that if it were to happen too often or too easily, it would not be as cherished. The Lazy Sunday is defined as the Sunday where you have nothing to do but things you want to do. There is no laundry, no cleaning, no errands. There are no obligations or require elements, no diet food and definitely no early morning showers or leg shaving. There are no dress pants and no ironing or any kind. A Lazy Sunday is all about one thing, being lazy...whatever your lazy includes. And in the spirit of this loveliest and sunniest of Laziest Sundays I am going to share with you all my favourite things to do on a Lazy Sunday
1. Sleep in
I work early all week. I start work at 7 now and finish at 3, which is great because it means I get extra day light hours to do errands etc, but it makes for pretty early mornings and pretty low key early nights. So sleeping in is a welcome treat on a Sunday. Nothing like waking up well rested and relaxed on a Lazy Sunday.
2. Get a coffee
In my house we don't make coffee. We have a family farm and for as long as I can remember, the coffee maker is at the farm and not in the house, so we never have coffee here, so growing up I never had it in the house. So on a lazy sunday it is one of my favourite things to do is go downtown to my favourite coffee place that is terribly out of the way from my normal week and grab a delicious iced coffee.
3. Used Book Store Shopping
I like any other female on this earth is genetically mapped to enjoy shopping. I like anyone else loves going shoe shopping, and trying on clothes and checking out cute earrings just as much as the next girl. That being said I am a sucker for old books. I love browsing aimlessly through the shelves of old books, once previously loved and now in need of good homes. Browsing through shelves looking for a new favourite book that is bound to provide me with an afternoon of blissful reading, while sipping my delightful iced beverage.
4. Watching Sinful TV
This might come as a shock to some, I am addicted to bad TV. I love watching TV shows in sequence, preferably shows that are trashy and have poor plot. I watch them, ogle the cute boys, envy the girls that have perfect bodies, and then never feel obligated to watch another episode.
5. Do whatever comes naturally
Lazy Sundays are no routine days, so when one suddenly comes along and you realize there are no obligations the best thing one can to is sit back, relax and wait for divine lazy sunday inspiration to find you!
Hope every one had a fantastic weekend! I'm going to go get my trashy tv on :)
Sunday, February 13, 2011
The text message that killed the cat.
Communication. Its the simple act of expressing ideas, opinions, thoughts, plans,and the list goes on and on. We as humans are supposed to be great communicators. Proof of this is that not only have we developed language (verbal, sign or written word) to be able to express ourselves to others, and have come up with a whack of technologies all designed to make us communicate more, more often and more efficiently. The typewriter, the printing press, the telephone, the computer, the laptop, the cellphone, texting, facebook, twitter, myspace and the list goes on and on. I haven't even touched things line iphones, and the apps they have that make it easier to express an opinion about restaurants or easier to make twitters from any place on the planet. See? We have it easy in the modern world. We can literally at any time of any day find a way to make a statement. We every ability in the world to make our points and be heard. So why don't we?
As you may have previously read, I'm having a bit of drama with one of my longest friends. The drama continues, and I trying to be mature about this, and trying to diffuse the situation, blamed poor communication by both parties on the bad blood starting to boil. She (in true typical princess fashion) blamed it all on me. Needless to say, it wasn't long before I went on the defensive and smashed it all back in her face defending myself because lets face it who wouldn't, but the whole big mess has me re-thinking the communcation issues I seem to have.
When I think about how this whole mess began I start to wonder if she didn't take our conversations seriously because I have never given her reason to believe I would ever stand up for myself. For a long time now I have been feeling like she was always trying to rub things in my face and that I am always superior. And I've been getting pretty annoyed at it, and of course bottling it all up inside, until now this big mess has exploded and here we are now.
Because I had never previously told her no, or stood up for myself, or you ever tried to rationally talk to her about my feelings I helped create this mess, just as much as she should have been clear about the plans of the whole event. I imagine if I could have better communcated my feelings (from a long time ago till now) this mess wouldn't have happened and I wouldn't be sick to my stomach with stress wondering if I had crossed some kind of line. All day I have been freaking out over how to deal with this sitation. I have myself rethinking if I am some sort of terrible selfish person and if I should be apologizing. But then I wonder what I should be apologizing about? That I was honest with her about my trip plans? That I should have maned up and told her no in the first place? That I should have basically told her that I don't give a rats about going to see some band I've seen twice just because its suddenly her newest obsession and its for once a convenient time for her to go?
I understand that I should probably be apologizing for not having known my trip itinerary sooner, but I refuse to apologize or take crap for having told her I was planning on leaving for my trip right after the concert. I told her that before the tickets were purchased and I feel like she should be at least admitting that both sides could have been clearer about everything. Why do I have to be the dog that gets smacked over the nose with the news paper for something the cat did?
Today she actually said that if I wanted out she would give me my money back, and to be honest, knowing her, she's probably already found someone else who wants to go to the show and is more than willing to take my ticket and let this 'friend' of mine get away with bossing her around.
And it wouldn't surprise me at all because she's done this before. Found someone better to do something and even through she said we were going, she went with them and told me after the fact. Movies, concerts, it has happened before and shes left me waiting for her, or has left me hanging. And here I am obsessing about the fact that she sucks at keeping her promises?
AND WHY AM I STILL OBSESSING ABOUT IT?
So boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen, children of all ages, welcomed guests of my blog. Here is my advice. If you don't want to do something, say it. If you have plans, make them and be straight with people. Communicate with others. And do not ever let friends take you for granted because you are NOT on this earth to be someones punching bag. (physically or verbally....esp not physically but thats totally another problem...that has nothing to do with this particular post....just thought I'd make it known that I'm not cool with physical abuse either)
As you may have previously read, I'm having a bit of drama with one of my longest friends. The drama continues, and I trying to be mature about this, and trying to diffuse the situation, blamed poor communication by both parties on the bad blood starting to boil. She (in true typical princess fashion) blamed it all on me. Needless to say, it wasn't long before I went on the defensive and smashed it all back in her face defending myself because lets face it who wouldn't, but the whole big mess has me re-thinking the communcation issues I seem to have.
When I think about how this whole mess began I start to wonder if she didn't take our conversations seriously because I have never given her reason to believe I would ever stand up for myself. For a long time now I have been feeling like she was always trying to rub things in my face and that I am always superior. And I've been getting pretty annoyed at it, and of course bottling it all up inside, until now this big mess has exploded and here we are now.
Because I had never previously told her no, or stood up for myself, or you ever tried to rationally talk to her about my feelings I helped create this mess, just as much as she should have been clear about the plans of the whole event. I imagine if I could have better communcated my feelings (from a long time ago till now) this mess wouldn't have happened and I wouldn't be sick to my stomach with stress wondering if I had crossed some kind of line. All day I have been freaking out over how to deal with this sitation. I have myself rethinking if I am some sort of terrible selfish person and if I should be apologizing. But then I wonder what I should be apologizing about? That I was honest with her about my trip plans? That I should have maned up and told her no in the first place? That I should have basically told her that I don't give a rats about going to see some band I've seen twice just because its suddenly her newest obsession and its for once a convenient time for her to go?
I understand that I should probably be apologizing for not having known my trip itinerary sooner, but I refuse to apologize or take crap for having told her I was planning on leaving for my trip right after the concert. I told her that before the tickets were purchased and I feel like she should be at least admitting that both sides could have been clearer about everything. Why do I have to be the dog that gets smacked over the nose with the news paper for something the cat did?
Today she actually said that if I wanted out she would give me my money back, and to be honest, knowing her, she's probably already found someone else who wants to go to the show and is more than willing to take my ticket and let this 'friend' of mine get away with bossing her around.
And it wouldn't surprise me at all because she's done this before. Found someone better to do something and even through she said we were going, she went with them and told me after the fact. Movies, concerts, it has happened before and shes left me waiting for her, or has left me hanging. And here I am obsessing about the fact that she sucks at keeping her promises?
AND WHY AM I STILL OBSESSING ABOUT IT?
So boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen, children of all ages, welcomed guests of my blog. Here is my advice. If you don't want to do something, say it. If you have plans, make them and be straight with people. Communicate with others. And do not ever let friends take you for granted because you are NOT on this earth to be someones punching bag. (physically or verbally....esp not physically but thats totally another problem...that has nothing to do with this particular post....just thought I'd make it known that I'm not cool with physical abuse either)
Saturday, February 12, 2011
I have this friend. She's been one of my closet and longest friends. We've been through a lot, had a lot of laughs and basically can read each others minds. And while we have had great times, and get along ok, we are very very different. When I was young, I was really into the music scene. I grew up in a house where one of my sisters was a huge music nut and so I was exposed to many kinds of music for many years. My friend, pretty much only country, but through my influence she became a music nut herself. Now a days a song on the radio can't play without her giving her two cents on the band, the record label, what the song is about, when the album came out, who they are touring with, or how she originally heard the track on some music magazine CD sampler. For example a band I had never heard of till last week, that only has a 5 song EP out and has only been together for a short time, she tells me tonight she's heard of before because she heard them on a RockSound magazine's EP. Right. You're brilliant, I got it. And everything is like this. Music, books (good lord never bring up a book as she will have read it and have an opinion that is better than yours or will have a million other thoughts about why she reads superior things), what her baseball team did, and how it was superior to whatever our skating club did/or does, how her job with the government is superior than my current job with the Department of National Defence. EVERYTHING. Now usually I don't care. Let her think she's superior, let her think she's better and more knowledgeable. I know it's because she has some insecurities, and honestly I usually don't care that she has to feel better than me, mostly because I've seen the family she grew up in, and her parents are like that too. They have to be the best and their daughter is no different. That is until now.
This whole thing stems from her over the top music obsession. When I was younger, around 19/20 ish, my sister and I started going to concerts together a lot. Travelling to see shows, sleeping in the car to save money, and going to a lot of outdoor tours. Vans Warped tour, Virgin music festival, Green day, The offspring, and the list goes on and on. Please note this was also about the time that Emo music made its big burst into the teen scene. And while I was not a teen, I was finally at an age and time where I could go to these shows.
So of course I start liking the band My Chemical Romance. My friend hears it in my car, and an obession blooms. She buys all the cds, all the special additions, reads their blogs, more recently their twitters, follows the every detail of their lives through magazine articles. I of course go to see them at two out door concerts, each time offering her a chance to come, her always saying no (sleeping in a car is beneath her). So when they were about to go into the studios for a new cd my friend decided she wanted to go see them for her birthday, and christmas I just kind of go along with it. So we get (crappy) tickets. Because my friend has no credit card she relies on her mom to get them for her. Then of course the kicker. When we go to buy the tickets I flat out ttell my friend that I don't know if I can go because I am leaving for Europe. A trip I have been planning a lot longer than she has EVER planned to see MCR. Now granted until recently I haven't had concrete plans to go but I told her I would be leaving right after the show. She says its not a problem and we will make it work.
A couple months later all I am hearing now is that "its my birthday and christmas and you're telling me what to do" and "we want to go early and go shopping" and "we can get you to the airport its no problem but I don't know how to get you and you're stuff in the truck"....Its like now that I have this big trip planned, she is making sure I know my place in her world. Under her thumb and all about making sure I know what she thinks is best, really is the best.
I don't know why I'm surprised. Its her world I merely live in it. This is also the person that took on the role of Vice President of a mutual club, but then skips meetings because she's too tired from work or school. Who doesn't even like her job because all she does all day is have to do what other people tell her, and she hates it because 'people are stupid'. She claims she doesn't want to coach, and suddenly we have to rush home tonight because she has to be at coaching first thing tomorrow morning. Its like COME ON GROW UP. You're 23 living at home where your parents still pay your phone bill, car insurance and gas bill monthly.
I get that this concert is a big deal for her, but its not for me. When I said I would go I was under the impression that she didn't really have anyone else to go with, so I said I would make it work but that I would be leaving for Europe after the concert and that I would have bags. She said that it would be fine, I said no problem. Then I find out that shes bought 4 tickets and that there are four of us going. So great. Awesome I didn't need to go, and I didn't need to be guilted into it. But she had said me getting to the airport would be fine. Awesome. Then she said that we would be leaving on the first ferry out of town and that she didn't think there would be space for my bags. WTF? I remember hearing nothing about going shopping, and recall nothing about ever taking a first ferry. But you know, its about her and she wants to go and have fun (but hates shopping as she has told me many times) and be able to hang out before the show. All things I was not aware of.
I say I don't want to bother going and she says I'm telling her what to do? I basically said that it would be too much hassle and that I had other things I wanted to do and that it would probably be best for everyone if I didn't go and drag them down, and she thinks I'm making it all about me. Which granted I can sort of see how she might see that, but really I'm walking away and making it so that they don't have to worry about me. So that she can enjoy her birthday and christmas.
So I guess this whole thing is me just ranting. Maybe its just years of all the times she's put me down, or tried to make herself better than me finally getting to me. She may have been planning this trip to see this concert for a year, but I have offered her chances to go before. Its a show SHE wants to see, but whenever I want to see a show she never goes. When she wants to see a show she wants me to go with her most times just because she doesn't have a credit card to buy them herself. See!! More ranting! She's starting to make a monster out of me! All this anger is not good for my soul! My trip to Europe is all about me finally doing what I want to do and not taking crap for it and here I am bending over backwards to fit my life into her schedule....
I don't know what to do, or how to make it better, but right now the ranting from above? Just made me feel soo much better. So maybe someone out there who happens to stumble upon this will understand where I'm coming from. A friend that just seems to think they are the best, and who you can never win with. How do you deal with it? Am I in the wrong? Is there any way I can get out of this without pissing her off more? I mean she ripped me a new asshole and then was kissing my butt all night and being super nice to me. Could this possibly mean that for once she thinks she might be wrong? Or has she gone home to complain about me to her parents? Oi....
This whole thing stems from her over the top music obsession. When I was younger, around 19/20 ish, my sister and I started going to concerts together a lot. Travelling to see shows, sleeping in the car to save money, and going to a lot of outdoor tours. Vans Warped tour, Virgin music festival, Green day, The offspring, and the list goes on and on. Please note this was also about the time that Emo music made its big burst into the teen scene. And while I was not a teen, I was finally at an age and time where I could go to these shows.
So of course I start liking the band My Chemical Romance. My friend hears it in my car, and an obession blooms. She buys all the cds, all the special additions, reads their blogs, more recently their twitters, follows the every detail of their lives through magazine articles. I of course go to see them at two out door concerts, each time offering her a chance to come, her always saying no (sleeping in a car is beneath her). So when they were about to go into the studios for a new cd my friend decided she wanted to go see them for her birthday, and christmas I just kind of go along with it. So we get (crappy) tickets. Because my friend has no credit card she relies on her mom to get them for her. Then of course the kicker. When we go to buy the tickets I flat out ttell my friend that I don't know if I can go because I am leaving for Europe. A trip I have been planning a lot longer than she has EVER planned to see MCR. Now granted until recently I haven't had concrete plans to go but I told her I would be leaving right after the show. She says its not a problem and we will make it work.
A couple months later all I am hearing now is that "its my birthday and christmas and you're telling me what to do" and "we want to go early and go shopping" and "we can get you to the airport its no problem but I don't know how to get you and you're stuff in the truck"....Its like now that I have this big trip planned, she is making sure I know my place in her world. Under her thumb and all about making sure I know what she thinks is best, really is the best.
I don't know why I'm surprised. Its her world I merely live in it. This is also the person that took on the role of Vice President of a mutual club, but then skips meetings because she's too tired from work or school. Who doesn't even like her job because all she does all day is have to do what other people tell her, and she hates it because 'people are stupid'. She claims she doesn't want to coach, and suddenly we have to rush home tonight because she has to be at coaching first thing tomorrow morning. Its like COME ON GROW UP. You're 23 living at home where your parents still pay your phone bill, car insurance and gas bill monthly.
I get that this concert is a big deal for her, but its not for me. When I said I would go I was under the impression that she didn't really have anyone else to go with, so I said I would make it work but that I would be leaving for Europe after the concert and that I would have bags. She said that it would be fine, I said no problem. Then I find out that shes bought 4 tickets and that there are four of us going. So great. Awesome I didn't need to go, and I didn't need to be guilted into it. But she had said me getting to the airport would be fine. Awesome. Then she said that we would be leaving on the first ferry out of town and that she didn't think there would be space for my bags. WTF? I remember hearing nothing about going shopping, and recall nothing about ever taking a first ferry. But you know, its about her and she wants to go and have fun (but hates shopping as she has told me many times) and be able to hang out before the show. All things I was not aware of.
I say I don't want to bother going and she says I'm telling her what to do? I basically said that it would be too much hassle and that I had other things I wanted to do and that it would probably be best for everyone if I didn't go and drag them down, and she thinks I'm making it all about me. Which granted I can sort of see how she might see that, but really I'm walking away and making it so that they don't have to worry about me. So that she can enjoy her birthday and christmas.
So I guess this whole thing is me just ranting. Maybe its just years of all the times she's put me down, or tried to make herself better than me finally getting to me. She may have been planning this trip to see this concert for a year, but I have offered her chances to go before. Its a show SHE wants to see, but whenever I want to see a show she never goes. When she wants to see a show she wants me to go with her most times just because she doesn't have a credit card to buy them herself. See!! More ranting! She's starting to make a monster out of me! All this anger is not good for my soul! My trip to Europe is all about me finally doing what I want to do and not taking crap for it and here I am bending over backwards to fit my life into her schedule....
I don't know what to do, or how to make it better, but right now the ranting from above? Just made me feel soo much better. So maybe someone out there who happens to stumble upon this will understand where I'm coming from. A friend that just seems to think they are the best, and who you can never win with. How do you deal with it? Am I in the wrong? Is there any way I can get out of this without pissing her off more? I mean she ripped me a new asshole and then was kissing my butt all night and being super nice to me. Could this possibly mean that for once she thinks she might be wrong? Or has she gone home to complain about me to her parents? Oi....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)