Historically I haven't had the best of relationships with my mother. Growing up my family situation was a bit different than most. I had a family whose life revolved around skating. If it was happening in an ice rink we were concerned with it, and it was just expected that we all do our part to survive the ice. Including skating for my evil dictator sisters synchronized skating team, during my senior year of high school, while preparing for finals and university admissions, while also trying to complete my own singles skating aspirations. Which I then kind of bailed on. Because she was making my life miserable at the rink and at home. Regardless...my drama with her is another story for another day.
So when I decided to stop putting up with the skating drama and was no longer in high school in need of my mother to sign permission slips for me, we basically stopped having anything in common, other than her signing my tuition checks and me being that illusive kid that occasionally showed up for dinner between classes. Not only was I no longer a team player, but I was also the science major who studied microbes and plated slime during the day. Everyone else in my family works administrative jobs and daily on a farm while I was doing something none of them every really payed much attention to or thinks is science fiction.
Needless to say my mom and I ran out of things to talk about a long time ago. With little to nothing in common after being in skating for so long, we ran out of things in common. And over the years with school ending and me being on my own in the work force the rare moments we talk are usually her about their latest and greatest trip, or how I can't really stand my job, but do it because the money is so much better. Not great moments of connection.
Which is why when in the car driving to pick up pizza the other night, I got a bit of a shell shocker. While in the car the other night driving my mom and I were discussing a family friend that has the inability to do things they want to do and just follows the flow of what everyone else wants. I don't really recall how it all came out but the idea that following the crowd isn't brave. I also mentioned that I guess me going to Europe might not be the most correageous thing to do as I have known so many people who have done it but at least I'm making the move to go. My mom then interjects that it was brave for me to book it and go by myself.
This was huge. My mom has never really supported anything I wanted to do. She never really supported my degree and still continues to question whether or not I'm ever going to use it. She always wanted me to skate for my sisters team again but I refused. She blew a fuse when I left for Christmas to dash off to New York instead of staying with the family. For her to say that I'm brave. Thats big.
But thats just the thing. The trip I'm going on is huge. Its the first time I've ever done what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. Its the first time I'm doing something completely by myself and I'm doing on a vacation. And to be honest I'm not even really thinking much about it. I'm most surprised about the fact that my mother finally thinks that I'm brave enough to do it :)
Happy Sunday Folks!
No comments:
Post a Comment