I have this friend. She's been one of my closet and longest friends. We've been through a lot, had a lot of laughs and basically can read each others minds. And while we have had great times, and get along ok, we are very very different. When I was young, I was really into the music scene. I grew up in a house where one of my sisters was a huge music nut and so I was exposed to many kinds of music for many years. My friend, pretty much only country, but through my influence she became a music nut herself. Now a days a song on the radio can't play without her giving her two cents on the band, the record label, what the song is about, when the album came out, who they are touring with, or how she originally heard the track on some music magazine CD sampler. For example a band I had never heard of till last week, that only has a 5 song EP out and has only been together for a short time, she tells me tonight she's heard of before because she heard them on a RockSound magazine's EP. Right. You're brilliant, I got it. And everything is like this. Music, books (good lord never bring up a book as she will have read it and have an opinion that is better than yours or will have a million other thoughts about why she reads superior things), what her baseball team did, and how it was superior to whatever our skating club did/or does, how her job with the government is superior than my current job with the Department of National Defence. EVERYTHING. Now usually I don't care. Let her think she's superior, let her think she's better and more knowledgeable. I know it's because she has some insecurities, and honestly I usually don't care that she has to feel better than me, mostly because I've seen the family she grew up in, and her parents are like that too. They have to be the best and their daughter is no different. That is until now.

This whole thing stems from her over the top music obsession. When I was younger, around 19/20 ish, my sister and I started going to concerts together a lot. Travelling to see shows, sleeping in the car to save money, and going to a lot of outdoor tours. Vans Warped tour, Virgin music festival, Green day, The offspring, and the list goes on and on. Please note this was also about the time that Emo music made its big burst into the teen scene. And while I was not a teen, I was finally at an age and time where I could go to these shows. 

So of course I start liking the band My Chemical Romance. My friend hears it in my car, and an obession blooms. She buys all the cds, all the special additions, reads their blogs, more recently their twitters, follows the every detail of their lives through magazine articles. I of course go to see them at two out door concerts, each time offering her a chance to come, her always saying no (sleeping in a car is beneath her). So when they were about to go into the studios for a new cd my friend decided she wanted to go see them for her birthday, and christmas I just kind of go along with it. So we get (crappy) tickets. Because my friend has no credit card she relies on her mom to get them for her. Then of course the kicker. When we go to buy the tickets I flat out ttell my friend that I don't know if I can go because I am leaving for Europe. A trip I have been planning a lot longer than she has EVER planned to see MCR. Now granted until recently I haven't had concrete plans to go but I told her I would be leaving right after the show. She says its not a problem and we will make it work.

A couple months later all I am hearing now is that "its my birthday and christmas and you're telling me what to do" and "we want to go early and go shopping" and "we can get you to the airport its no problem but I don't know how to get you and you're stuff in the truck"....Its like now that I have this big trip planned, she is making sure I know my place in her world. Under her thumb and all about making sure I know what she thinks is best, really is the best.

I don't know why I'm surprised. Its her world I merely live in it. This is also the person that took on the role of Vice President of a mutual club, but then skips meetings because she's too tired from work or school. Who doesn't even like her job because all she does all day is have to do what other people tell her, and she hates it because 'people are stupid'. She claims she doesn't want to coach, and suddenly we have to rush home tonight because she has to be at coaching first thing tomorrow morning. Its like COME ON GROW UP. You're 23 living at home where your parents still pay your phone bill, car insurance and gas bill monthly.

I get that this concert is a big deal for her, but its not for me. When I said I would go I was under the impression that she didn't really have anyone else to go with, so I said I would make it work but that I would be leaving for Europe after the concert and that I would have bags. She said that it would be fine, I said no problem. Then I find out that shes bought 4 tickets and that there are four of us going. So great. Awesome I didn't need to go, and I didn't need to be guilted into it. But she had said me getting to the airport would be fine. Awesome. Then she said that we would be leaving on the first ferry out of town and that she didn't think there would be space for my bags. WTF? I remember hearing nothing about going shopping, and recall nothing about ever taking a first ferry. But you know, its about her and she wants to go and have fun (but hates shopping as she has told me many times) and be able to hang out before the show. All things I was not aware of.

I say I don't want to bother going and she says I'm telling her what to do? I basically said that it would be too much hassle and that I had other things I wanted to do and that it would probably be best for everyone if I didn't go and drag them down, and she thinks I'm making it all about me. Which granted I can sort of see how she might see that, but really I'm walking away and making it so that they don't have to worry about me. So that she can enjoy her birthday and christmas.

So I guess this whole thing is me just ranting. Maybe its just years of all the times she's put me down, or tried to make herself better than me finally getting to me. She may have been planning this trip to see this concert for a year, but I have offered her chances to go before. Its a show SHE wants to see, but whenever I want to see a show she never goes. When she wants to see a show she wants me to go with her most times just because she doesn't have a credit card to buy them herself. See!! More ranting! She's starting to make a monster out of me! All this anger is not good for my soul! My trip to Europe is all about me finally doing what I want to do and not taking crap for it and here I am bending over backwards to fit my life into her schedule....

I don't know what to do, or how to make it better, but right now the ranting from above? Just made me feel soo much better. So maybe someone out there who happens to stumble upon this will understand where I'm coming from. A friend that just seems to think they are the best, and who you can never win with. How do you deal with it? Am I in the wrong? Is there any way I can get out of this without pissing her off more? I mean she ripped me a new asshole and then was kissing my butt all night and being super nice to me. Could this possibly mean that for once she thinks she might be wrong? Or has she gone home to complain about me to her parents? Oi....